The Power of Pause: Managing Stress in Healthcare with Dr. Emilio Justo
In this insightful episode, Dr. Emilio Justo, renowned eye surgeon, 2X best-selling author, and 2X viral TEDx speaker, shares his groundbreaking approach to managing stress in the healthcare profession. His bestselling book, The Power of Pause, delves into the concept of mastering delayed gratification to achieve success and reduce burnout—especially critical for doctors and medical professionals facing high-pressure environments.
Join us as Dr. Justo discusses:
- The importance of pausing: How taking intentional breaks can lead to greater focus, productivity, and well-being in the healthcare field
- Mastering delayed gratification: Key strategies from his book that have helped healthcare professionals manage stress and avoid burnout
- The benefits of applying 'the power of pause' in both personal and professional settings
- Practical tips for healthcare leaders on fostering resilience and maintaining peak performance under pressure
Whether you're in the medical field or navigating stress in any profession, Dr. Justo's wisdom will provide you with essential tools for staying grounded and thriving.
Connect with Dr. Emilio Justo:
- LinkedIn: Dr. Emilio Justo
- Website: dremiliojusto.com
Tune in to explore how the power of pause can transform your approach to stress and success.
---------------
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Stay connected with Kelly Buckley and join her journey of healing, resilience, and gratitude. Follow her on social media for more inspiring content, updates on future episodes, and insights on living a life full of hope and purpose.
- Website: kellybuckley.com
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- YouTube: Kelly Buckley on YouTube
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⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
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00:00:02
Hi everyone,
00:00:02
and welcome to another episode
00:00:04
of Broken Beautiful Me, stories of hope,
00:00:07
gratitude, and resilience.
00:00:10
I am so lucky today to have our guest,
00:00:14
Dr. Emilio Justo.
00:00:17
He is a renowned
00:00:18
ophthalmologist and
00:00:19
cosmetic surgeon
00:00:21
specializing in refractive
00:00:23
cataract surgery and CO two laser.
00:00:27
And I'm sorry,
00:00:28
I'm going to have to ask him
00:00:29
to pronounce this big old word for me.
00:00:32
Blepharoplasty, blepharoplasty.
00:00:34
Okay, got it.
00:00:36
With nearly fifty thousand
00:00:38
procedures performed since
00:00:39
nineteen eighty nine.
00:00:41
As a Cuban refugee who
00:00:43
emigrated to the United
00:00:44
States at age three,
00:00:47
his journey underscores the
00:00:48
transformative power of patience,
00:00:51
perseverance and self-discipline.
00:00:53
His August twenty twenty
00:00:55
three TEDx Cherry Creek
00:00:58
delayed gratification,
00:00:59
your superpower to success
00:01:02
has amassed over six million views,
00:01:06
making it the third most
00:01:08
viewed TEDx video globally
00:01:10
in two thousand twenty three.
00:01:12
His best selling book,
00:01:13
The Power of Pause
00:01:15
Mastering Delayed
00:01:16
Gratification for Success,
00:01:18
followed in June of twenty
00:01:20
twenty four and became a
00:01:21
number one Amazon best
00:01:23
seller in February twenty twenty four.
00:01:26
He delivered a second TEDx talk,
00:01:28
Unleashing the Drive Within
00:01:30
the Obsession Advantage to
00:01:32
Unprecedented Success at TEDx Western U,
00:01:35
which has garnered over one
00:01:37
million views.
00:01:38
He's married for twenty
00:01:39
years with three teenage children,
00:01:42
and he and his family enjoy
00:01:44
traveling and exploring
00:01:45
exotic destinations.
00:01:48
Thank you so much for being on the show.
00:01:50
Welcome.
00:01:51
Thank you so very much, Kelly.
00:01:53
I greatly look forward to it.
00:01:55
It's a pleasure to meet you
00:01:57
and I look forward to our
00:01:59
journey together here.
00:02:01
Me as well.
00:02:02
So just to get us started off,
00:02:05
if you could just kind of give us,
00:02:06
you know, I gave a brief bio,
00:02:08
but if you can tell our
00:02:09
listeners who maybe don't
00:02:11
know a lot about your work,
00:02:13
just a bit about your
00:02:14
background and how you came
00:02:16
to be on this journey.
00:02:19
Well, very good.
00:02:20
Well, Kelly, as you correctly pointed out,
00:02:24
I am a Cuban refugee coming
00:02:26
to the United States with
00:02:27
my parents at the age of almost four,
00:02:31
three, almost four.
00:02:33
And we escaped via Mexico.
00:02:36
And then when we settled
00:02:37
into the United States as
00:02:40
church organizations back
00:02:42
in the mid-Nineteen Sixties,
00:02:43
we're sponsoring Cuban
00:02:45
refugees entry into the United States.
00:02:48
the church that sponsored us,
00:02:50
we settled into Gary, Indiana.
00:02:53
And Kelly,
00:02:54
I don't know if you're old
00:02:55
enough to remember, but Gary, Indiana,
00:02:58
is the home,
00:02:59
the origin of Michael Jackson
00:03:02
and the Jackson Five.
00:03:03
That's where they were from.
00:03:04
That's where they got their initial start.
00:03:06
But anyhow, that's where we settled.
00:03:08
My grandparents who escaped
00:03:11
Cuba a few months later
00:03:14
were sponsored by a
00:03:15
different church and they
00:03:17
settled in a small college
00:03:20
town in Northwest Missouri
00:03:22
called Tarkeo College.
00:03:25
And the relevance to that is
00:03:27
that as my parents were
00:03:29
getting settled in the United States,
00:03:32
my father was working two full-time jobs,
00:03:35
one as a steel worker,
00:03:36
one as a maintenance and
00:03:38
janitorial for the church.
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My mother went three hours
00:03:43
south to Indiana University
00:03:45
in Bloomington to restudy
00:03:47
all over again because she
00:03:48
had her doctorate in
00:03:50
education at the University of Havana,
00:03:52
but coming to the United States,
00:03:54
none of those credentials transferred.
00:03:56
They made the courageous
00:03:57
decision to actually send
00:04:00
me to grow up with my
00:04:01
grandparents on the campus
00:04:03
of Tarkeel College from
00:04:05
kindergarten through fourth grade.
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And that was just an incredible experience,
00:04:11
absolutely incredible,
00:04:14
surrounded by college
00:04:15
students all the time.
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My lovely grandparents,
00:04:18
who were like second parents to me,
00:04:21
didn't know a lick of English,
00:04:23
but just great, great memories.
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And it's interesting, today,
00:04:28
although Tarkeo College
00:04:31
Unfortunately,
00:04:32
went out of business after a
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hundred plus years,
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but now it's been somewhat
00:04:37
resurrected and I'm
00:04:38
actually on the board of
00:04:39
directors as a volunteer
00:04:42
for Tarkeo College as it's
00:04:45
getting a fresh new lease on life,
00:04:47
so to speak.
00:04:50
In fifth grade,
00:04:51
my grandparents and I moved
00:04:53
back to Indiana to reunite
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with my parents.
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My parents had saved enough
00:04:59
money to purchase a home.
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My father now could only work one job,
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which was nice.
00:05:05
My mother was teaching high
00:05:07
school Spanish.
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And there I did my growing
00:05:10
up from fifth grade through
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the end of high school.
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After high school,
00:05:16
I went to the University of Michigan,
00:05:19
their integrated
00:05:20
pre-medical medical program,
00:05:22
which was an accelerated
00:05:23
six-year program.
00:05:24
And so I did undergraduate,
00:05:26
my college and medical
00:05:27
school at the U of M.
00:05:29
And I graduated medical
00:05:30
school when I was twenty three,
00:05:32
which was exceptionally young.
00:05:35
After that,
00:05:35
I did my four years of
00:05:37
residency in Washington, D.C.,
00:05:39
at the Washington National Eye Center.
00:05:42
And subsequent to that,
00:05:44
that's when I moved to sunny.
00:05:48
Arizona in the Phoenix metropolitan area.
00:05:52
And that's when I started
00:05:54
practice in nineteen eighty nine.
00:05:56
So I just started August first.
00:05:58
I just started my thirty
00:06:00
sixth year of practice as
00:06:03
an ophthalmologist,
00:06:04
cataract surgeon and
00:06:06
oculoplastic surgeon.
00:06:08
So I still love it to this
00:06:10
day and it keeps me busy full time.
00:06:14
But going back to, I'm sorry,
00:06:16
I kind of digress,
00:06:17
but going back to one of
00:06:18
your original questions,
00:06:19
how I got onto this journey.
00:06:21
So a year ago,
00:06:24
just before doing my first TEDx,
00:06:28
as I tell a lot of people,
00:06:30
and it sounds kind of odd,
00:06:32
but as I get a little bit older,
00:06:34
having just turned
00:06:36
I was joking.
00:06:39
But as I get a little bit older,
00:06:40
I look back at my life and the things.
00:06:43
I'm very proud of the things
00:06:44
I've accomplished.
00:06:46
I'm also very proud of all
00:06:47
the failures that I've gone
00:06:49
through and I've been able
00:06:50
to bounce forward from
00:06:52
because I've had plenty of those.
00:06:55
But I do look at my life and
00:06:56
I look at the mortality of
00:06:57
life and I think, gosh,
00:06:58
I'm not going to be here forever.
00:07:00
And I'd like to leave a
00:07:02
legacy to my family, to my children,
00:07:06
maybe someday to my grandchildren.
00:07:08
Hopefully not too soon because they're...
00:07:10
They're still somewhat young.
00:07:13
But I started thinking about these things.
00:07:15
And that's really what
00:07:16
inspired me just to get on
00:07:18
the initial TEDx journey.
00:07:20
That whole delayed
00:07:21
gratification talk was really spurred on
00:07:26
primarily because of that.
00:07:28
Throughout my life,
00:07:30
my mantra inside my head,
00:07:33
I didn't really talk about this,
00:07:34
but I've always had this
00:07:36
mantra inside my head that
00:07:37
I've kept very private.
00:07:39
And this mantra has been
00:07:41
what I call my Cuban triad for success.
00:07:44
And that involves number one,
00:07:46
self-discipline, number two, resilience,
00:07:50
and number three, delayed gratification.
00:07:53
So when I was going to write
00:07:56
my first TEDx talk,
00:07:58
I really wanted to write it
00:07:59
on the entire triad.
00:08:01
But some of the coaches around me said,
00:08:05
hey, hey,
00:08:06
that's just way too much to
00:08:08
write about for a ten or
00:08:09
twelve minute talk.
00:08:11
So I decided I'm just going
00:08:12
to talk on delayed
00:08:13
gratification because
00:08:15
that's really what my life
00:08:16
has been all about.
00:08:18
And not by choice.
00:08:19
It's just as an immigrant.
00:08:21
That's what it is.
00:08:21
You know,
00:08:22
you have to delay gratification
00:08:23
and you have to put aside
00:08:26
sometimes those immediate
00:08:27
pleasures in favor of that later,
00:08:31
often greater reward.
00:08:33
And so that's what I what I
00:08:35
wrote about in my first TEDx.
00:08:37
And, you know,
00:08:38
it was incredibly well received.
00:08:42
Well, long answer to your question, Kelly,
00:08:43
I apologize.
00:08:45
No, no, that was,
00:08:46
that was a perfect answer.
00:08:47
And I,
00:08:48
I loved hearing kind of your origin
00:08:51
story of,
00:08:53
of coming to the United States and,
00:08:57
and really that whole message of,
00:09:00
you know,
00:09:02
setting a goal or having a dream
00:09:04
that's maybe a little
00:09:04
further down the road,
00:09:07
your entire family just
00:09:09
lived that and really
00:09:11
instilled that power in you
00:09:13
to understand that things
00:09:15
don't necessarily happen overnight,
00:09:17
that we have to put the work in sometimes,
00:09:20
but that the reward is great.
00:09:22
It's just what a beautiful
00:09:23
story for your family of
00:09:27
coming and making such a
00:09:29
success of their lives here
00:09:31
in the United States.
00:09:32
That's wonderful.
00:09:33
Thank you.
00:09:34
Thank you.
00:09:34
I appreciate that.
00:09:37
Yeah, I mean, to my core and in my soul,
00:09:40
I mean,
00:09:41
I am definitely a believer in
00:09:43
delayed gratification.
00:09:44
I preach it to my family,
00:09:47
especially to our kids.
00:09:49
And they seem to generally understand it.
00:09:53
They nod their head.
00:09:54
They say they get it.
00:09:55
But the reality, in my view,
00:09:58
is that I'm not so sure
00:09:59
they really do get it.
00:10:00
And I don't fault them for that.
00:10:03
They're young.
00:10:04
They're teenagers.
00:10:07
You know, in today's society,
00:10:08
it's nothing like when I
00:10:11
was growing up and perhaps
00:10:12
even when you were growing up,
00:10:14
we didn't have all this
00:10:15
instant gratification.
00:10:16
We didn't have, you know,
00:10:19
the social media.
00:10:20
I mean, we didn't even have...
00:10:22
Computers, when I was growing up,
00:10:23
we didn't have cell phones.
00:10:24
We didn't have any of that.
00:10:27
I remember in high school
00:10:28
when I had to do a research
00:10:30
project or a paper at home,
00:10:33
because my parents placed a
00:10:34
high emphasis on education,
00:10:36
they did save up enough
00:10:38
money to buy me an encyclopedia set.
00:10:42
Actually, believe it or not,
00:10:44
two for that matter.
00:10:45
I had Encyclopedia Britannica,
00:10:47
for those of you and the
00:10:49
viewers who remember
00:10:51
Encyclopedia Britannica.
00:10:52
And then I also had an
00:10:55
easier to read version,
00:10:56
which was called Compton's Encyclopedia.
00:11:00
It was much easier to read.
00:11:01
Encyclopedia Britannica, I remember,
00:11:03
was just...
00:11:04
so detailed and so esoteric
00:11:06
and had these big words
00:11:07
that many of which I didn't even know.
00:11:11
Compton's was really kind of
00:11:13
a version that had everyday
00:11:15
words and would still give
00:11:17
you the same information.
00:11:18
So we actually had two encyclopedia sets,
00:11:20
and that's what I used for
00:11:22
much of my research in high school.
00:11:25
You know,
00:11:26
I remember for my research papers,
00:11:29
we had encyclopedias as well,
00:11:31
but I also remember going
00:11:32
to the public libraries.
00:11:34
And trying to explain that
00:11:36
to my son when he was a teenager and,
00:11:40
you know,
00:11:40
they had tablets and phones and
00:11:42
everything was just right
00:11:43
at the end of their fingertips.
00:11:45
And we actually had to go and search.
00:11:48
And I do feel,
00:11:50
and I don't know how you feel about this,
00:11:51
but I do feel like that approach of,
00:11:57
having to sit down and look
00:11:59
in a book and take the time
00:12:00
to read it and then
00:12:01
transcribe information down
00:12:04
on paper with a pen.
00:12:06
I just feel like that part of learning,
00:12:09
the value of that has been
00:12:11
lost a little bit.
00:12:12
I would love to see that
00:12:13
come back a little bit more.
00:12:16
Absolutely.
00:12:16
I couldn't agree with you more.
00:12:17
I couldn't agree.
00:12:18
I mean,
00:12:18
I think so many things in our lives
00:12:21
really were better kind of
00:12:24
in the old days, as I call it,
00:12:25
and at least old days for me.
00:12:27
I mean, yes,
00:12:29
there are great things as
00:12:31
technology and the world has evolved.
00:12:34
that have become better.
00:12:35
And certainly who could
00:12:37
imagine life without a cell phone now,
00:12:39
right?
00:12:42
But I got to agree with you
00:12:44
that sometimes the
00:12:46
simplicity of the way we were brought up
00:12:49
forced us to take active
00:12:51
measures for our own well-being,
00:12:54
for our own education,
00:12:55
for our own knowledge,
00:12:56
that we wouldn't just
00:12:58
Google something to find out.
00:13:01
Like now,
00:13:01
if you don't know the meaning of a word,
00:13:03
you Google it.
00:13:04
If you don't know how to get someplace,
00:13:06
you Google it.
00:13:07
I mean, man, growing up,
00:13:08
I remember we would do a
00:13:11
drive in the summer.
00:13:13
Our big vacation was we
00:13:14
would drive from Northwest
00:13:15
Indiana to Miami Beach, Florida.
00:13:19
This is the old Miami Beach.
00:13:20
This isn't the South Beach
00:13:21
that exists now.
00:13:22
This is where all the retirees hung out.
00:13:25
Of course, with my Cuban heritage,
00:13:27
Miami Beach,
00:13:29
was driven by the Cuban community.
00:13:31
So we would love going down there,
00:13:33
having the Cuban food.
00:13:36
But I remember in all those drives,
00:13:40
we would go to AAA because AAA did exist.
00:13:43
But back then,
00:13:44
they would have what they
00:13:45
called these triptychs,
00:13:47
which were these maps that
00:13:48
they would put together
00:13:50
based upon what destination
00:13:51
you were going to.
00:13:53
And they would put this map
00:13:54
together that you would then –
00:13:56
read in the car to know how
00:13:58
to get from point a to
00:13:59
point b you know and and
00:14:01
now what you just plug it
00:14:02
into your your iphone or
00:14:05
your cell phone and it
00:14:06
gives you the directions as
00:14:08
you're driving and and it's
00:14:10
really useful I mean I use
00:14:11
it all the time but man the
00:14:13
the old school method was
00:14:15
really quite challenging
00:14:16
when you think of today's
00:14:17
methods well because we we had to think
00:14:21
And I think that that's,
00:14:22
I always worry about that with the phone,
00:14:25
just with myself in terms
00:14:27
of longevity and keeping
00:14:28
your brain active.
00:14:31
I know myself,
00:14:32
I can be watching a movie and Google,
00:14:35
who is that guy in that movie,
00:14:36
that character?
00:14:37
How old is he?
00:14:38
And I'll get his age and I'm like, oh,
00:14:40
that's interesting.
00:14:42
And then it's out the other ear, right?
00:14:44
I don't retain that
00:14:45
information in the same way
00:14:47
as if I looked at it on a piece of paper.
00:14:50
I had to actively search to
00:14:52
find that information.
00:14:53
So I know we're kind of veered off on that,
00:14:56
on my soapbox there, but I do hope that,
00:14:59
you know, as we,
00:15:00
and I think maybe it's
00:15:02
happening because even with my son now,
00:15:04
who's in his mid twenties, he's not,
00:15:08
he's not a big social media guy, right?
00:15:10
He's,
00:15:11
He's out living his life.
00:15:15
And I think that I do hope
00:15:18
that we get back to that somewhat,
00:15:19
that we take the advantages of technology,
00:15:22
like talking to you today.
00:15:23
I would never meet you without it.
00:15:28
But also recognize that
00:15:30
there's a big world right
00:15:32
beyond our nose.
00:15:34
Absolutely.
00:15:35
I mean, I couldn't agree with you more.
00:15:36
I mean, first of all,
00:15:37
I got to say to your viewers out there,
00:15:40
I'm highly shocked that you
00:15:41
have a son in his twenties.
00:15:44
That's, that's incredible.
00:15:46
You look like you just graduated college.
00:15:47
So congratulations to you.
00:15:51
But yeah,
00:15:53
uh but yeah I mean I I I
00:15:56
fully agree with what
00:15:57
you're saying and kudos to
00:15:58
your son for not really
00:15:59
being into social media I
00:16:01
mean I I must admit up
00:16:02
until a year ago when I
00:16:05
delivered my first tedx
00:16:07
I did no social media whatsoever.
00:16:11
And then I just started kind
00:16:14
of dabbling in it,
00:16:15
and especially this year,
00:16:17
doing some posts and things
00:16:20
of that nature,
00:16:21
which is very time consuming.
00:16:24
But I can see how
00:16:26
particularly the youth of our world,
00:16:27
but really people of all ages,
00:16:30
can get so addicted to social media.
00:16:32
I mean, because once in a blue moon,
00:16:34
I'll like look at Instagram
00:16:36
and they'll be real after real, you know,
00:16:39
it's never ending.
00:16:41
And many of them are
00:16:42
extremely interesting.
00:16:44
I mean, topics you may not think of.
00:16:47
You could spend your entire day,
00:16:49
day and night,
00:16:50
just watching reel after reel.
00:16:52
But at the end of that time,
00:16:54
what do you have to show for it, right?
00:16:56
I mean, you might say, well, I enjoyed it,
00:16:58
but really it's not brought
00:17:00
you any further in your life.
00:17:02
And so I think in large part,
00:17:05
when I talk to youth,
00:17:07
I try to explain that social media,
00:17:11
we need to break the addiction and use,
00:17:14
prioritize our time
00:17:16
to do things that are going
00:17:17
to help nurture our mind, our soul,
00:17:21
our education, our future.
00:17:23
And then as a small reward,
00:17:26
then maybe take thirty minutes or maybe,
00:17:29
maybe an hour if it's on
00:17:31
the weekend or something
00:17:33
and maybe devote it to
00:17:34
social media if you want to,
00:17:36
if you really,
00:17:36
really want to as a small reward.
00:17:39
But but don't let it just
00:17:41
engulf you because you're
00:17:44
not going to really achieve
00:17:46
the goals and dreams that
00:17:47
you set out if you're not
00:17:49
working on them and you
00:17:50
gotta work on them I mean
00:17:52
in life and this is another
00:17:53
thing I preach to our kids
00:17:56
and try and instill in them
00:17:57
is that you know nothing
00:17:59
comes easy I mean it's very
00:18:00
very very few things that
00:18:03
come easy occasionally
00:18:04
something will fall in your
00:18:05
lap I get it but in the
00:18:07
general terms of life
00:18:09
We have to really work hard
00:18:12
and be self-disciplined and
00:18:14
persevere and be resilient
00:18:16
and embrace failure.
00:18:18
I mean, I talk about embracing failure.
00:18:20
We have to be willing to
00:18:22
fail in order to succeed,
00:18:24
in order to learn from that
00:18:25
failure and be able to succeed.
00:18:29
So we shouldn't really shy
00:18:31
away from failure.
00:18:32
I mean,
00:18:32
it's not that none of us enjoys failing,
00:18:36
but even if we do fail,
00:18:38
let's just smile in the
00:18:39
mirror at ourselves and say, hey,
00:18:40
you know, I lost this little battle,
00:18:43
but I'm going to win the
00:18:44
war and I'm going to push forward.
00:18:45
So, yeah, I digressed again.
00:18:49
I tend to be a bit of a blabbermouth.
00:18:51
Sorry.
00:18:52
No, I know.
00:18:53
I love it.
00:18:54
And I love what you're saying about it.
00:18:59
Because it's really not all that social,
00:19:01
is it?
00:19:01
Because I know,
00:19:03
I think it was Gallup released a poll,
00:19:04
there's an epidemic of loneliness,
00:19:06
even though we're more
00:19:08
connected in quotes than ever before.
00:19:14
And I think what, you know,
00:19:16
what we need in terms of
00:19:18
going after our goals and
00:19:20
becoming comfortable with
00:19:21
failure is we have to have
00:19:24
a sense of community that
00:19:25
gives us courage when we
00:19:27
feel part of the community.
00:19:29
And as much as, you know,
00:19:31
our being friends with
00:19:33
people on Facebook or
00:19:34
LinkedIn or wherever,
00:19:37
that in-person community,
00:19:39
those people show up for you,
00:19:40
you show up for them.
00:19:42
That gives you courage to, if you do fail,
00:19:45
you know,
00:19:45
you have people surrounding you
00:19:47
who can help lift you back up again.
00:19:49
Because sometimes it's hard
00:19:50
to get up on your own after a late day.
00:19:54
And we've all been there.
00:19:55
But it's part of the path.
00:19:59
Um, it's, you know, I, you know, I look at,
00:20:02
you know,
00:20:03
even doing this interview with you today,
00:20:05
um,
00:20:06
nobody knows how many face plants I
00:20:08
did before today with this interview.
00:20:11
Um, nobody knows, you know,
00:20:12
because that was part of my
00:20:15
path to get to here.
00:20:17
Um,
00:20:18
so I want to jump into the TED talk now
00:20:21
about delayed gratification,
00:20:22
because I want to hear more about this.
00:20:24
And I, at first,
00:20:25
when I read six million views, I was like,
00:20:27
what?
00:20:28
six million views so for
00:20:31
someone like yourself you
00:20:32
weren't really on social
00:20:33
media prior to this what
00:20:36
was your reaction when your
00:20:39
words resonated with so
00:20:42
many people well I mean I I
00:20:47
was in awe and probably the
00:20:50
person who was even in
00:20:51
bigger awe was my wife
00:20:55
And she's the one who really
00:20:58
kind of kept giving me
00:20:59
kudos here at home and
00:21:02
really inspiring me.
00:21:03
I mean,
00:21:04
I must say I owe a lot of the
00:21:07
things that I've
00:21:07
accomplished in my life to
00:21:10
my wife supporting and
00:21:12
nurturing and giving me
00:21:13
positive reinforcement.
00:21:15
and not necessarily dragging
00:21:18
me through the mud when
00:21:19
I've made some incredibly
00:21:21
stupid and big mistakes, which I've made,
00:21:25
which I talk about in the book.
00:21:28
So she's been a source of inspiration.
00:21:31
And yes, so in terms of getting the views,
00:21:34
yes, early on, it was interesting.
00:21:36
I remember I'd be at work and
00:21:39
And I'd be in the operating
00:21:41
room in surgery,
00:21:43
and my staff kind of knew a
00:21:44
little bit of what was going on.
00:21:46
And the first few months,
00:21:48
it was like every two, three, four hours,
00:21:52
somebody would be checking
00:21:53
the computer in the
00:21:55
operating room to see how
00:21:57
many views has it increased by.
00:22:00
And that was kind of a
00:22:01
running joke there for a while.
00:22:04
And then I learned that one
00:22:06
of the things that one should do,
00:22:09
to help with the YouTube
00:22:11
algorithm because I was so naive.
00:22:14
I barely knew anything about
00:22:15
YouTube to be quite honest.
00:22:17
And so they explained to me
00:22:20
that when you get comments
00:22:23
on YouTube on your video,
00:22:25
that you need to acknowledge
00:22:26
them you know maybe give it
00:22:28
a like reply back etc so I
00:22:31
started you know looking at
00:22:32
at the comments and it was
00:22:35
very interesting I mean it
00:22:36
was just incredible to see
00:22:38
how people were commenting
00:22:40
and were liking the the the
00:22:42
talk and they were being
00:22:43
inspired um and that just
00:22:48
was incredible positive feedback for me,
00:22:50
I must say.
00:22:51
I mean,
00:22:51
it was a really a good feeling of
00:22:53
satisfaction that I had
00:22:54
done something positive for my family,
00:22:58
for the world.
00:23:01
And so I kind of became, in a good way,
00:23:04
I kind of became addicted
00:23:06
to the TEDx world because as that
00:23:09
First talk was gaining momentum.
00:23:12
Again,
00:23:13
it was my wife who then brought up
00:23:15
to me and said, hey,
00:23:17
this is being so well received,
00:23:19
you've gotta write a book.
00:23:21
I mean,
00:23:21
I had never really thought about
00:23:23
writing a book.
00:23:24
I mean, I've never done so in my life.
00:23:26
I've read plenty of books,
00:23:27
but never written one.
00:23:29
And so I set my mind to it
00:23:33
and I devoted every single weekend
00:23:37
because during my work week,
00:23:39
I just don't have time.
00:23:40
I work, you know, ten, twelve hour days.
00:23:43
But on the weekends,
00:23:44
I would devote every
00:23:45
weekend little by little to
00:23:48
writing that book.
00:23:49
And early on, I had kind of a coach,
00:23:51
a mentor who helped me kind
00:23:53
of flush out some ideas.
00:23:55
And then after that,
00:23:56
it was my wife helping me
00:23:58
flush out ideas.
00:24:00
And and then I I
00:24:04
wrote that book.
00:24:05
I mean,
00:24:05
it may not be the most perfect book
00:24:07
in the world,
00:24:07
but I was on a mission and I
00:24:09
wanted to get it signed,
00:24:11
sealed and delivered.
00:24:12
So from start to finish,
00:24:13
I think it was probably
00:24:15
about four months that I had the idea,
00:24:19
wrote the book and got it published.
00:24:22
And then during that process,
00:24:24
At the same time, I'm thinking about, gee,
00:24:26
I really enjoyed that TEDx.
00:24:29
I think I need to do another one.
00:24:30
And so I started writing
00:24:33
another TEDx at the same
00:24:35
time and actually delivered
00:24:38
that second TEDx well before
00:24:41
that book was ever published.
00:24:44
So it's kind of been an
00:24:45
addictive cycle in a good way.
00:24:47
And I'm hoping maybe I don't have time now,
00:24:50
but maybe in twenty twenty five,
00:24:51
I'm looking forward to
00:24:53
writing a third TEDx and
00:24:54
maybe doing the trifecta.
00:24:56
Yeah,
00:24:59
I think that would be a very good plan.
00:25:01
So so tell us then in this TEDx talk,
00:25:06
Can you give the listeners a
00:25:08
brief overview of what you
00:25:10
mean when you say delayed gratification,
00:25:12
your superpower to success?
00:25:15
So can you just tell people
00:25:17
what you mean by that?
00:25:17
I mean, in simple terms, really,
00:25:21
in simple terms,
00:25:21
it means that sometimes we
00:25:24
just have to defer on some
00:25:28
of the immediate pleasures that
00:25:31
and just pause give it time
00:25:34
think about it and wait for
00:25:36
maybe that later greater
00:25:38
reward now when I talk
00:25:41
about delayed gratification
00:25:42
as I tell everyone
00:25:44
understand I'm talking
00:25:45
about in generalities in
00:25:46
life I mean I'm a core believer in it
00:25:49
But it doesn't mean by no
00:25:50
means am I telling people
00:25:52
that they cannot have any
00:25:53
instant gratification in their life.
00:25:55
That would be ridiculous, right?
00:25:59
We need to have certain
00:26:00
levels of instant gratification.
00:26:02
As we project on a goal,
00:26:05
let's say that we set a one-year goal.
00:26:08
Well, along the path,
00:26:09
there are going to be
00:26:11
smaller goals that one is
00:26:13
going to achieve and try to achieve.
00:26:15
And once you do,
00:26:16
you want to celebrate those
00:26:18
milestones with some small victories,
00:26:21
small celebrations, etc.
00:26:24
So it doesn't mean that you can't have fun,
00:26:27
that you can't have instant
00:26:29
gratification.
00:26:30
But it does mean that we
00:26:31
have to really pause.
00:26:33
I mean, something as simple as, gee,
00:26:36
you're out at the mall.
00:26:38
and you see something that
00:26:40
just catches your eye and you're thinking,
00:26:41
oh, wow, boy,
00:26:43
wouldn't that be great to buy that?
00:26:45
Let's say it's something fairly expensive.
00:26:48
Well, okay, just pause a second.
00:26:50
I mean, if it's more a want and not a need,
00:26:54
let's just pause.
00:26:54
Let's think about it.
00:26:55
Think about it overnight.
00:26:56
Think about it for a week.
00:26:58
I'll guarantee you that when
00:26:59
you think about it for a
00:27:00
few days or a week,
00:27:01
when you come back and
00:27:03
think about it again,
00:27:04
the importance of it in your
00:27:06
mind is gonna be far diminished.
00:27:09
And yet your pocket book
00:27:11
will be far enhanced by not
00:27:13
spending that money.
00:27:14
Now,
00:27:15
does that mean that you can't spend money,
00:27:17
that you should be frugal
00:27:18
about everything?
00:27:19
No, I'm not saying that.
00:27:20
I'm just saying that we need
00:27:21
to balance things and delay
00:27:24
that instant gratification
00:27:26
in many aspects of our
00:27:27
lives in order to achieve
00:27:30
that greater, greater reward,
00:27:33
which will be exponentially
00:27:35
so much better.
00:27:37
Another example would be
00:27:39
what I talk to our kids about is,
00:27:42
you know,
00:27:42
as I'm sure you can imagine
00:27:44
having kids yourself,
00:27:46
teenagers will talk about cars and,
00:27:48
you know,
00:27:49
they want a car and this and that.
00:27:51
Well, not that there's anything wrong.
00:27:53
By no means is there
00:27:54
anything wrong with buying
00:27:55
your teenager a car.
00:27:57
But rather than, let's say,
00:27:58
giving them that instant gratification,
00:28:01
if they in turn, you know,
00:28:03
have a little part time job,
00:28:05
start saving up some money.
00:28:07
And once they save up enough
00:28:09
money that maybe they can
00:28:10
put a down payment on that
00:28:12
car to purchase it themselves.
00:28:15
It's going to mean so much more to them,
00:28:18
so much more than being gifted something,
00:28:20
right?
00:28:20
Because it's going to be their blood,
00:28:23
sweat, and tears,
00:28:24
their sweat equity that they put into it,
00:28:27
that they're going to be so
00:28:28
much more proud of it.
00:28:29
They're going to take so
00:28:30
much better care of it.
00:28:32
Not that they wouldn't do
00:28:33
these things if you gave it to them,
00:28:35
but it's just going to be a better,
00:28:36
better, greater reward for them.
00:28:40
Well, and don't you think too,
00:28:42
in that regard, I just...
00:28:45
it makes them self-reliant as well, right?
00:28:48
And I think that in this time of, you know,
00:28:53
what's the term, helicopter parents,
00:28:54
and we, you know,
00:28:55
we all just want our kids
00:28:56
to be okay and not have to
00:28:58
have any struggle.
00:29:02
But sometimes, you know,
00:29:04
working for something or
00:29:05
having a struggle in the
00:29:06
short term allows you to
00:29:09
grow as an individual.
00:29:11
And, you know,
00:29:12
as we're preparing our kids to go out and
00:29:15
and help us fix this world
00:29:18
in some of the challenges
00:29:20
that we see around the globe,
00:29:23
we need more self-reliance than ever.
00:29:26
So allowing them to see that
00:29:30
things just don't happen instantly.
00:29:31
They don't happen overnight
00:29:33
and that's okay.
00:29:34
We just, we stay the little steps,
00:29:36
baby steps every day to get there.
00:29:38
Absolutely.
00:29:39
And two quick examples.
00:29:40
I couldn't agree with you more, Kelly.
00:29:43
Two quick examples.
00:29:44
For example, our oldest son,
00:29:47
he's extremely, extremely sociable.
00:29:49
I mean, just incredibly so.
00:29:51
And has been from a young age.
00:29:53
I mean,
00:29:54
we always thought that he was kind
00:29:55
of an adult in kids' clothes.
00:29:59
But he's been very
00:30:01
self-reliant when it comes
00:30:03
to his schooling throughout,
00:30:05
whether it be grade school, high school.
00:30:07
Now he's in college and he
00:30:10
goes to his teachers.
00:30:12
He meets with them regularly.
00:30:14
He asks questions.
00:30:16
He wants to learn how to do
00:30:19
better and how to succeed.
00:30:21
So that's wonderful for him.
00:30:23
The other example would be our youngest,
00:30:26
who's our daughter.
00:30:28
We have three, so our youngest,
00:30:30
when she started eighth grade,
00:30:33
she's in eighth grade now,
00:30:34
but when she first started,
00:30:36
she had a brand new math teacher,
00:30:38
same school,
00:30:38
but a completely different math teacher.
00:30:41
And the first week of school, I mean,
00:30:44
she was really struggling
00:30:46
in math because this
00:30:47
teacher just had a completely,
00:30:49
completely different methodology.
00:30:52
And she thought that he was
00:30:54
being unreasonable and was
00:30:56
almost picking on her and
00:31:00
isolating her in class and
00:31:02
making her kind of a
00:31:04
negative example of certain things.
00:31:06
And so my wife and I, and especially me,
00:31:08
because I'm very defensive
00:31:10
about our children,
00:31:12
maybe a little too much so, we thought,
00:31:15
oh, gosh, we need to go in there.
00:31:16
We need to meet with the teacher,
00:31:18
meet with the principal,
00:31:19
and get this ironed out, and blah, blah,
00:31:21
blah.
00:31:22
But then we paused.
00:31:25
And my wife and I talked about it and said,
00:31:28
no, no,
00:31:28
this really isn't the way to go
00:31:30
about this.
00:31:31
So instead,
00:31:32
we counseled our daughter and said,
00:31:34
listen,
00:31:35
We understand the
00:31:36
frustration you're going through,
00:31:38
but we need for you to step up.
00:31:41
And what you need to do is
00:31:43
perhaps go to the chair of
00:31:45
the math department who
00:31:46
happened to be her math
00:31:48
teacher the previous year
00:31:50
and discuss these things openly.
00:31:52
And then if need be,
00:31:54
have a meeting with your current teacher.
00:31:57
And she took those steps.
00:31:59
She took that initiative.
00:32:01
We are so proud of her.
00:32:03
She took those steps, that initiative.
00:32:06
She hammered those things
00:32:07
and got resolution.
00:32:11
And little by little,
00:32:13
that teacher started
00:32:14
showing greater respect for her.
00:32:17
She started showing greater
00:32:19
respect for him.
00:32:20
And now here it is.
00:32:22
It's her favorite teacher right now.
00:32:24
She has an incredible
00:32:26
relationship with him.
00:32:28
A teacher that started out
00:32:30
someone who she almost
00:32:32
maybe despised is too strong of a word,
00:32:35
but she really was having
00:32:37
difficulty with.
00:32:38
And, you know,
00:32:39
I talk about this in the book as well,
00:32:41
because, you know, as parents,
00:32:43
we could have really messed it up for her,
00:32:44
but we wanted her to stand up for her own,
00:32:47
to be resilient,
00:32:48
to solve her own problems
00:32:49
and to work through them by communication,
00:32:52
right?
00:32:53
Communication is key in
00:32:55
every aspect of life.
00:32:56
I mean,
00:32:56
I'm a big advocate of communication.
00:32:59
Whenever I see a lack of communication,
00:33:01
it's frustrating to me.
00:33:03
And then I speak up and
00:33:04
communicate and say, hey,
00:33:05
there's no communication here.
00:33:08
But we're so proud of her for doing that.
00:33:12
That is an amazing story.
00:33:13
And you're right.
00:33:15
Just with the power of that pause,
00:33:17
you allowed yourself to see
00:33:21
things from a different
00:33:22
angle and let her empower
00:33:25
herself to take care of that situation.
00:33:29
It brought up a memory for me.
00:33:31
It was actually with a
00:33:32
hockey coach for my son.
00:33:34
And I wanted to get in there and
00:33:37
you know, I really, you know,
00:33:39
I was feeling like mama bear, right?
00:33:41
Right, right.
00:33:42
And it was my son who told me, no, mom,
00:33:47
I've got this.
00:33:48
I'm going to take care of this.
00:33:50
I want to take care of this on my own.
00:33:52
Right.
00:33:52
And I was like, oh, okay, I guess so.
00:33:56
Because I was really all set to do it.
00:33:58
But he said, I want to do this on my own.
00:34:01
And as a parent,
00:34:03
it was a little hard for me to take that.
00:34:05
I wanted to
00:34:06
you know, be that protective mama there.
00:34:08
But just as your daughter did, you know,
00:34:12
they need to rise to that occasion.
00:34:13
Yeah, no, totally get it, Kelly.
00:34:16
Totally get it.
00:34:17
I mean, our middle son,
00:34:18
the one I haven't talked about,
00:34:20
because he's, I don't know, we see him,
00:34:22
my wife and I see him as a
00:34:24
little bit more shy or introverted,
00:34:26
although he claims that he's not.
00:34:28
But on the surface, it seems that way.
00:34:30
And so sometimes my wife in particular,
00:34:33
but me as well, we kind of,
00:34:35
get in the middle of things
00:34:36
and stand up for him when
00:34:38
it comes to school issues.
00:34:40
But he keeps saying, no, stay out of it.
00:34:42
I can handle it myself.
00:34:44
And indeed he can.
00:34:46
And he does.
00:34:47
So we're learning to
00:34:48
basically kind of take a
00:34:50
chill pill and take a step
00:34:52
back because ultimately he can handle it.
00:34:57
He's just a different
00:34:57
personality than our other two kids,
00:34:59
right?
00:34:59
They're each their own person.
00:35:01
Yeah.
00:35:01
And I mean, the
00:35:04
the challenge of being a
00:35:06
parent is that delicate
00:35:07
dance of holding on and letting go.
00:35:10
And, you know, you,
00:35:12
you have to give them that
00:35:14
space to come into their own, but yeah,
00:35:16
it's, it's not easy sometimes.
00:35:19
I, that's a struggle for me,
00:35:21
even with my son as old as he is now.
00:35:23
So I want to talk to you about
00:35:30
mindful decision-making.
00:35:32
So if someone was having to
00:35:35
come to grips with
00:35:36
something and make a big
00:35:38
decision for their life,
00:35:40
what advice would you give them?
00:35:42
Because I know that this is
00:35:44
a concept that you've talked about.
00:35:46
Yes, I mean, we definitely, I mean,
00:35:49
mindful decision-making is
00:35:51
pretty much what it sounds like.
00:35:53
You have to really think about
00:35:57
the decisions that you're going to make,
00:36:00
not react swiftly, right?
00:36:02
We've all been guilty of an
00:36:04
instantaneous reaction.
00:36:05
And then quite often we
00:36:07
regret that reaction, you know,
00:36:09
that we acted too swiftly.
00:36:11
So we have to just stop, pause,
00:36:13
think about, okay,
00:36:14
how is this going to affect
00:36:16
either my goal of what I
00:36:17
want the outcome to be,
00:36:20
How is it going to make
00:36:21
perhaps that individual or
00:36:23
that situation look overall
00:36:26
or look to others?
00:36:27
How is it going to make me look?
00:36:30
Maybe I'm going to react too
00:36:31
swiftly and it's going to backfire on me.
00:36:36
So again,
00:36:37
it goes back to this whole issue
00:36:39
of pausing.
00:36:41
and thinking it through and
00:36:44
not being too quick to react.
00:36:48
And then, you know, think logically.
00:36:51
Think logically.
00:36:52
Don't just react emotionally,
00:36:54
which we all do in certain circumstances.
00:36:58
And I'm sure I know for myself,
00:37:00
I've regretted some of those reactions.
00:37:04
So we just have to be mindful of what
00:37:09
we're doing and the
00:37:10
decisions that we're making
00:37:11
to make sure that they're
00:37:14
positive ones that will
00:37:15
actually further our goal
00:37:18
and further the
00:37:19
conversation and not be a detriment.
00:37:25
I always, I talk a lot about the ripple,
00:37:28
the ripple of our lives.
00:37:30
And that's usually when I am
00:37:33
making a big decision, I kind of think,
00:37:36
okay, how is this going to ripple out?
00:37:37
What's that going to look like?
00:37:39
How is this going to be?
00:37:40
And I, I like to meditate in the mornings.
00:37:43
And so that's usually kind
00:37:45
of when I try to think of it,
00:37:46
that my bigger thoughts and goals, um,
00:37:51
to come to some conclusions about it.
00:37:53
Like, yeah, just that, that pause.
00:37:56
Um,
00:37:57
and certainly in situations with conflict,
00:38:00
you know, I wish that someone
00:38:03
had explained the power of
00:38:05
the pause to me when I was younger,
00:38:08
because I was quick to react, you know?
00:38:10
And I'm not completely cured of that,
00:38:16
I don't think.
00:38:17
I work on it every single day,
00:38:20
but I knew that someone had
00:38:22
explained it to me to just
00:38:24
take a little breath and, you know,
00:38:26
this is gonna be okay if
00:38:28
you don't immediately
00:38:29
respond to this email or this, you know,
00:38:33
Right.
00:38:33
But but, you know, but, you know,
00:38:35
give yourself some mercy on that,
00:38:38
because the reality of it
00:38:39
is that none of us, none of us,
00:38:41
myself included, are perfect about that.
00:38:44
But it does become I would
00:38:46
say it does become a little bit
00:38:48
easier to do and maybe a
00:38:51
little bit more instinctual
00:38:53
as we get older.
00:38:54
I mean,
00:38:55
we can preach and preach and preach
00:38:57
to our youth.
00:38:57
And I do believe that one
00:39:01
should preach to the youth.
00:39:02
But as my wife repeatedly tells me, well,
00:39:06
youth, kids, teenagers,
00:39:08
they don't want to be preached to.
00:39:10
You know,
00:39:11
they just want to be talked to normally.
00:39:15
I
00:39:16
feel like I'm an educator.
00:39:18
I'm always wanting to preach and teach.
00:39:21
And I don't think it
00:39:22
necessarily settles well with them.
00:39:25
And it's just harder.
00:39:28
These principles are very
00:39:29
difficult to practice when you're young.
00:39:32
I mean, they are.
00:39:33
And I get it.
00:39:34
I get it.
00:39:35
So I don't expect perfection
00:39:37
from any teenager by any
00:39:39
stretch of the imagination.
00:39:40
But if they can at least
00:39:42
start taking little baby steps,
00:39:46
that would be huge.
00:39:47
I mean, those baby steps would,
00:39:49
will eventually turn out to
00:39:51
be giant footsteps.
00:39:52
Absolutely.
00:39:54
Absolutely.
00:39:55
So what are some of the most
00:39:57
common roadblocks that you
00:40:00
see people kind of put up?
00:40:02
You know, if, when trying,
00:40:05
if you talk to people about
00:40:07
the power of the pause or
00:40:08
delayed gratification and
00:40:10
You know, have you met with kind of,
00:40:13
you talked about feedback
00:40:14
on YouTube and how it
00:40:15
really resonated with so many people.
00:40:17
But have you also met people who said,
00:40:21
yeah, I don't know.
00:40:22
And how have you addressed that?
00:40:25
Yeah, well, fortunately,
00:40:28
I must say that the
00:40:30
comments on the YouTube have pretty much,
00:40:32
as best I can recollect,
00:40:34
have all been pretty positive.
00:40:36
But in terms of real people
00:40:38
that I've dealt with,
00:40:39
including one of our
00:40:42
children who will remain nameless,
00:40:46
sometimes the big roadblock is, well, hey,
00:40:49
you know,
00:40:50
I want to enjoy my life.
00:40:54
I want my life to be stress-free.
00:40:58
You never know when I'm going to be gone.
00:41:02
Here they are, a teenager.
00:41:04
I want to enjoy the moment.
00:41:05
You know,
00:41:06
this whole thing about enjoying
00:41:07
the moment.
00:41:07
Yeah, I get enjoying the moment.
00:41:09
I try to enjoy every moment of my life.
00:41:11
But that doesn't mean that
00:41:13
those moments are all fun.
00:41:17
Enjoyable moments can be working hard,
00:41:19
persevering, discipline.
00:41:22
I mean, I look forward to my work.
00:41:24
I mean,
00:41:25
not just work in the office or in surgery,
00:41:27
but I'm talking about just work.
00:41:29
If I'm writing in a book, for example,
00:41:32
there's a certain...
00:41:34
fascination with the end result.
00:41:38
I'm doing something that's
00:41:40
going to nourish my mind.
00:41:41
It's going to hopefully nourish my family.
00:41:44
It's going to nourish the world.
00:41:48
So the big roadblock when I
00:41:50
think back in speaking,
00:41:53
particularly to youth,
00:41:54
is that they just want it now.
00:41:58
And
00:41:59
They don't want to have to wait a year,
00:42:01
five years, ten years, twenty years.
00:42:03
I mean, even a concept, for example,
00:42:05
I have a small chapter in
00:42:07
the book about investing, for example.
00:42:11
Not that I'm trying to be
00:42:12
I'm not an investment
00:42:13
manager or money manager or
00:42:15
anything like that,
00:42:15
but very basic investment principles.
00:42:20
that frankly I'm embarrassed
00:42:21
to say I didn't learn until
00:42:22
well into my adult years
00:42:24
why because you know my
00:42:25
parents didn't have any
00:42:26
money as immigrants so they
00:42:28
didn't really talk about
00:42:29
investing they talked about
00:42:32
trying to stay out of debt
00:42:33
right my my parents and
00:42:35
especially my father uh
00:42:38
would never go into debt
00:42:39
other than than a home
00:42:41
mortgage but that's about
00:42:42
it I mean he saved up when
00:42:43
he had the cash he'd pay for it cash
00:42:47
But now, you know,
00:42:47
I try and preach to the
00:42:49
kids how important it is to
00:42:51
like our oldest does some part time work,
00:42:54
particularly when he's home
00:42:56
on vacation or breaks.
00:42:58
And I say to him, look,
00:43:00
it's imperative that you set aside a bare,
00:43:04
bare,
00:43:04
bare minimum of ten percent of your
00:43:06
gross paycheck, ideally fifteen percent.
00:43:10
And if you're really aggressive,
00:43:11
twenty percent,
00:43:12
but a bare minimum of ten
00:43:13
percent and have it have it
00:43:15
debited out of your account
00:43:17
without you seeing it right
00:43:19
off the top and have it be
00:43:20
directed into some sort of
00:43:22
savings account or some
00:43:23
sort of savings vehicle,
00:43:25
because the power of compound interest.
00:43:28
is extraordinary I mean
00:43:30
extraordinary so every
00:43:32
little bit that you save
00:43:33
when you're in your
00:43:34
twenties and then you fast
00:43:36
forward to your retirement
00:43:38
years which comes very
00:43:39
quickly you know whether
00:43:40
you're retiring your
00:43:41
fifties sixties or or
00:43:43
thereafter that compound
00:43:45
interest will be incredible
00:43:48
and and you will see that
00:43:50
money you know just exponentially grow
00:43:54
but that requires you know
00:43:57
having that that mindset
00:43:59
but if you would expect
00:44:00
someone to get a paycheck
00:44:01
and then have to manually
00:44:03
transfer money out of their
00:44:05
let's say checking account
00:44:06
into a savings account it
00:44:08
may happen once or twice
00:44:09
and then they're going to
00:44:10
stop doing it because
00:44:11
they're going to they're
00:44:11
going to see that money
00:44:12
disappearing whereas if you
00:44:14
do it automatically from
00:44:15
the get-go you don't see
00:44:16
the money you don't even
00:44:18
realize that it's not there
00:44:20
So it's little things like
00:44:22
that that I think can be very powerful.
00:44:26
That's that's so true.
00:44:27
And it's it's easy for us to
00:44:29
do that these days.
00:44:30
Right.
00:44:30
There's apps that that for
00:44:34
young people with money
00:44:35
that it automatically does
00:44:37
a withdrawal into a savings account.
00:44:39
Right.
00:44:40
Most banks now have roundups
00:44:43
where you spend money at a
00:44:44
store and they'll round up
00:44:46
to the nearest dollar and transfer that,
00:44:49
you know,
00:44:49
maybe it's fifty cents or
00:44:50
seventy five cents to to a
00:44:52
savings account.
00:44:55
I remember when my father
00:44:57
telling me the story of
00:44:58
when he saved up for my
00:45:00
mother's engagement ring
00:45:02
and he was he worked in a paper mill.
00:45:05
I grew up in Newfoundland, Canada,
00:45:07
and he worked in a paper mill.
00:45:09
And one of his good,
00:45:10
good friends took this
00:45:14
container and actually
00:45:15
welded the top on it.
00:45:17
He was a welder in the mill.
00:45:19
And he welded the top on it
00:45:21
so that dad could not open
00:45:24
it up and dip into it on a
00:45:27
Friday evening and go for a
00:45:28
few beers with his buddies or something.
00:45:30
I don't know.
00:45:30
But dad told me that that's
00:45:34
how he saved up the money
00:45:35
to get for that ring.
00:45:38
there's something so beautiful about that,
00:45:40
that he, he made that commitment, but he,
00:45:42
he also recognized in himself what,
00:45:45
which is very much what I would be like,
00:45:47
I would need someone to
00:45:48
weld that top on the container, you know,
00:45:51
so that you don't dig in.
00:45:53
But he,
00:45:54
he had that goal and he recognized
00:45:57
that it was so important to
00:45:58
him that he had to do
00:45:59
whatever he had to do to get to it.
00:46:00
Right.
00:46:00
Right.
00:46:03
Gosh, I remember growing up, um,
00:46:06
because my parents didn't
00:46:07
really emphasize and maybe
00:46:09
they simply just didn't
00:46:10
even understand the power
00:46:12
of compound interest that
00:46:15
when I was given any sort
00:46:17
of money for birthday or holidays,
00:46:20
et cetera,
00:46:22
or just money that I would find
00:46:24
out on the street,
00:46:25
is that I had a piggy bank
00:46:27
believe it or not and it
00:46:28
wasn't a little piggy bank
00:46:29
I mean it was a big piggy
00:46:31
bank and uh and I would
00:46:33
just keep adding money
00:46:34
adding money and and at
00:46:36
some point I think it must
00:46:37
have been in high school or
00:46:38
something I finally emptied
00:46:40
out that piggy bank that weighed a ton
00:46:43
and uh I mean there were I
00:46:44
mean it wasn't that it was
00:46:45
a tremendous amount but I
00:46:46
mean it was hundreds of
00:46:47
dollars that had
00:46:48
accumulated in there and um
00:46:51
uh it would have been wiser
00:46:54
not not that hundreds of
00:46:55
dollars maybe translates
00:46:57
into that much but uh but
00:46:59
it would have been wiser
00:47:01
to teach me it had my
00:47:03
parents taught me at that
00:47:05
time to maybe put that
00:47:06
money into some sort of
00:47:08
savings vehicle that had uh
00:47:10
interest accruing so that
00:47:12
one could at least watch
00:47:13
that money grow a little
00:47:14
bit yeah yeah that's great
00:47:17
advice um so what has been
00:47:21
the most surprising thing
00:47:22
that you've learned about
00:47:23
yourself through this whole process um
00:47:26
doing the TED Talks, writing the book,
00:47:29
what has surprised you most
00:47:32
that you've said, oh,
00:47:33
I didn't really realize
00:47:34
that about myself?
00:47:36
Well, I think it's such a great question.
00:47:40
And I think really what it's
00:47:43
shown me is that even at my,
00:47:47
let's call it mature age,
00:47:49
that I can still
00:47:53
achieve a lot of things in my life.
00:47:56
And I hope to continue to
00:47:58
achieve a lot more things
00:48:00
while at the same time
00:48:01
still continuing my traditional job.
00:48:04
But so it's shown me that I
00:48:07
do still have a certain
00:48:08
power of resilience and
00:48:11
perseverance and
00:48:12
determination and self-discipline.
00:48:14
The things I've lived my
00:48:17
life based upon and I am
00:48:20
now preaching upon, I'm still practicing.
00:48:23
Now, has it always been that perfect?
00:48:27
No.
00:48:28
As I share in the book and I
00:48:30
share openly with other podcasts, etc.,
00:48:34
that probably what you
00:48:35
haven't asked so far,
00:48:36
so I'll beat you to the punch, Kelly,
00:48:39
is that if you were to ask
00:48:42
me what was the one
00:48:43
greatest failure or poor
00:48:47
decision-making is, twenty years ago,
00:48:52
I lost track for a small
00:48:55
period of time of that
00:48:57
delayed gratification that
00:48:58
was in my core.
00:49:00
And I chose to pursue
00:49:02
instant gratification.
00:49:03
And what do I mean by that?
00:49:05
Well, twenty years ago,
00:49:06
at least in the United States,
00:49:07
I don't know how the
00:49:08
economy was in Canada,
00:49:10
but in the United States, we had a very,
00:49:13
very hot real estate market
00:49:16
where prices of homes were
00:49:18
just skyrocketing.
00:49:20
And being able to obtain a
00:49:22
mortgage was extremely easy.
00:49:26
It was so unregulated that
00:49:28
you could just sign and get
00:49:30
a mortgage for ninety five
00:49:33
to one hundred percent of
00:49:34
the purchase price,
00:49:35
literally ninety five to
00:49:37
one hundred percent.
00:49:38
And so very little money down.
00:49:40
And so I thought to myself, oh, well,
00:49:42
you know,
00:49:43
here's a good get rich quick
00:49:44
scheme is I'm going to just
00:49:46
start buying residential
00:49:50
real estate rental homes.
00:49:52
And so in a matter of one year, Kelly,
00:49:54
and I'm just so embarrassed
00:49:56
to tell your viewers this,
00:49:57
but but I purchased twenty homes,
00:50:02
each valued between four
00:50:04
hundred to five hundred
00:50:05
thousand US dollars.
00:50:07
And I quickly learned in
00:50:10
renting them that basically
00:50:13
I couldn't keep it going
00:50:14
because the amount that I
00:50:16
was getting in rent was far
00:50:19
less than the amount I was
00:50:21
paying for the monthly mortgage.
00:50:24
So, I mean, a dumb idea.
00:50:27
I get it.
00:50:28
I don't know.
00:50:28
I just had one of those
00:50:30
periods in my life.
00:50:30
I don't know what I was thinking.
00:50:32
My wife told me from the
00:50:33
beginning it was a bad idea
00:50:35
and I just ignored her.
00:50:36
I should have known better.
00:50:38
But ultimately, it was very stressful.
00:50:41
I mean, I lost a ton of money.
00:50:42
I almost lost my entire life
00:50:45
savings or almost chased me
00:50:47
into bankruptcy.
00:50:49
But somehow, you know,
00:50:50
I was able to dig out of that.
00:50:51
I was able to
00:50:53
little by little, get rid of the homes.
00:50:55
And ever since then,
00:50:58
I've gone back to my roots
00:51:01
and I've embraced delayed gratification.
00:51:04
And the last twenty years of my journey,
00:51:06
it's gone exponentially up
00:51:08
as I've gotten back to my roots.
00:51:12
So it's an embarrassing
00:51:13
story and one that I'm not proud of.
00:51:16
But ultimately, as I think back, hey,
00:51:19
it's part of what's gotten
00:51:20
me to where I am in life.
00:51:22
So had I not experienced that,
00:51:24
had I not had that failure,
00:51:26
had I not learned from it,
00:51:29
these last twenty years may
00:51:31
not have gone as well as they have.
00:51:34
So I embrace it.
00:51:36
And I thank God for my mistake.
00:51:39
I thank God even more that I
00:51:40
learned from my mistake.
00:51:42
And I thank God even, even,
00:51:43
even more that I have a
00:51:46
wonderful wife who didn't
00:51:47
rub my face in it and who
00:51:49
basically helped me bounce
00:51:51
back and bounce forward
00:51:53
from that mistake.
00:51:54
I love bounce forward.
00:51:56
I'm going to be using that from now on.
00:51:58
I really like that.
00:52:00
Instead of bouncing back,
00:52:01
bouncing forward.
00:52:01
And we've all been in a
00:52:04
situation where we've made
00:52:06
mistakes where we're not, you know,
00:52:08
we just, oh, what was I thinking?
00:52:10
But
00:52:11
And I mean,
00:52:12
this is just me passing my opinion.
00:52:14
I'm meeting you for the
00:52:15
first time today on this podcast.
00:52:17
But do you feel like, you know, yes,
00:52:20
that was not a great moment for you,
00:52:23
but that somehow really
00:52:26
focused your vision and
00:52:30
what has manifested in this
00:52:32
book and these TED Talks
00:52:33
and the wonderful work that
00:52:35
you're doing and the people
00:52:36
that you're helping,
00:52:38
you probably wouldn't have felt that
00:52:40
that same push to return to
00:52:43
those roots and get that
00:52:45
message out without that stumble.
00:52:48
Absolutely.
00:52:49
Absolutely.
00:52:49
And that's why, as I just said,
00:52:52
that I have learned to
00:52:55
embrace the failure.
00:52:58
And truly, as crazy as it sounds,
00:53:00
I wouldn't have said this
00:53:01
at the time because I was
00:53:03
going through a period where, you know,
00:53:06
I was very down and it was
00:53:10
really destroying everything.
00:53:12
my life, at least so I thought.
00:53:14
But I have learned to
00:53:17
express gratitude for
00:53:19
having gone through that
00:53:21
and having been able to
00:53:22
persevere and have the resilience to,
00:53:25
as I said,
00:53:25
bounce forward from that
00:53:26
because that's helped
00:53:28
in a small way,
00:53:29
shape and mold me and get
00:53:31
me back to my roots of that
00:53:32
delayed gratification.
00:53:34
So I think embracing that failure is okay.
00:53:42
And it's somewhat cathartic
00:53:43
for me to be able to talk about it
00:53:47
and not have ill will towards it.
00:53:50
Plus,
00:53:51
as my I think my wife would attest to
00:53:53
this,
00:53:54
I believe that I'm the sort of
00:53:56
person just innately.
00:53:58
It's just part of me that I don't really
00:54:02
think back to past mistakes
00:54:04
and past negative things,
00:54:06
not just mistakes,
00:54:07
but even negative things.
00:54:10
If someone mistreats me or calls me,
00:54:13
you know,
00:54:14
something negative or what have you,
00:54:17
I just don't dwell on those things.
00:54:19
I mean, I move forward.
00:54:20
She'll remind me of, oh,
00:54:23
do you remember when, you know,
00:54:25
three months ago, such and such happened?
00:54:27
And I'm like,
00:54:29
Remind me.
00:54:29
I don't even recall what
00:54:30
you're talking about.
00:54:31
Then she'll remind me,
00:54:32
and I think to myself,
00:54:33
I kind of vaguely recall that,
00:54:36
but I really don't.
00:54:36
I just put it behind.
00:54:38
I pretty much live in the
00:54:40
moment and then a little
00:54:41
bit in the future,
00:54:42
but I definitely don't live in the past.
00:54:44
I mean, never have I done that.
00:54:46
I do not dwell on the past.
00:54:48
You and my husband are very much alike,
00:54:52
indeed.
00:54:53
I call it his compartments.
00:54:54
He's able to just put
00:54:56
something in a compartment
00:54:57
and just keep moving
00:54:58
forward with his life.
00:55:00
Whereas I say,
00:55:01
I have all these file
00:55:02
folders in my brain.
00:55:03
I have them, you know.
00:55:07
But there's something
00:55:09
freeing about not
00:55:12
ruminating about the past
00:55:14
because we can't change it anyway.
00:55:16
Right, right.
00:55:16
Plus, you know, I'm a believer that,
00:55:21
you know,
00:55:21
that good energy that emanates
00:55:23
from each one of us, whether it be mental,
00:55:27
spiritual, energy,
00:55:32
whatever you want to call it, you know,
00:55:35
if we harbor negative
00:55:38
feelings about someone or
00:55:40
about some situation in the past, etc.,
00:55:43
that it just drags us down
00:55:44
and it's not going to
00:55:45
really do anything for us in the future.
00:55:47
So we just have to be able to let go.
00:55:50
Another perfect example,
00:55:51
if I can just share with
00:55:52
you ever so briefly, that professionally,
00:55:57
I talked about that
00:55:58
personal situation insofar
00:55:59
as the real estate, but professionally,
00:56:03
midway through my professional career,
00:56:07
You know,
00:56:08
the first half of my professional career,
00:56:10
I enjoyed doing what I do.
00:56:13
I was pretty much hands off in the office.
00:56:15
I had a manager
00:56:17
administrator who took care of things.
00:56:19
You know,
00:56:20
they they they signed the checks.
00:56:23
I mean, they did the payroll.
00:56:24
I mean,
00:56:24
I was I was pretty much hands on
00:56:26
and very trusting.
00:56:28
And then a situation
00:56:31
happened that had to do,
00:56:34
I don't want to get too much into detail,
00:56:35
but had to do with writing
00:56:39
a prescription for a
00:56:40
controlled substance that were by my name,
00:56:45
my signature was forged and
00:56:47
it was brought to my
00:56:48
attention by a pharmacist.
00:56:50
And so effectively the next day,
00:56:53
that person, that manager was out.
00:56:56
I booted them.
00:56:57
And they had been with me a long time,
00:56:59
probably going on eleven, twelve years.
00:57:05
And so as I started looking
00:57:08
into the books and things like that,
00:57:10
all of a sudden I start
00:57:11
noticing that as a practice,
00:57:14
we are so behind.
00:57:17
on all of our accounts
00:57:18
payables and I'm thinking
00:57:20
oh my goodness you know the
00:57:23
vendors that we should be
00:57:24
paying we haven't been
00:57:25
paying and I know nothing
00:57:27
about this and so I I
00:57:30
buckled down and I said man
00:57:32
I'm going to write this
00:57:33
ship as soon as I can
00:57:34
And I probably overcorrected
00:57:37
a little bit too much.
00:57:38
I became somewhat of a micromanager,
00:57:40
even though I had a new manager.
00:57:42
But I really started
00:57:44
watching everything and I
00:57:46
started putting every bit
00:57:48
of money that came into the
00:57:49
practice towards paying off
00:57:52
all my debts as quickly as possible.
00:57:55
Which I did.
00:57:56
And so in a matter of,
00:57:57
I don't recall exactly,
00:57:58
this has been now probably going on, um,
00:58:02
fifteen, sixteen years,
00:58:04
but I paid everything off
00:58:05
within roughly six months
00:58:08
and I got back on top of things.
00:58:12
And since then, again,
00:58:13
I look back and had it not
00:58:15
been for that unfortunate episode,
00:58:18
I wouldn't have learned that
00:58:21
I needed to be more
00:58:22
involved from a management
00:58:23
standpoint in the practice
00:58:25
and in watching what comes in,
00:58:27
what goes out,
00:58:29
really looking at every aspect of things.
00:58:31
I started in practice so
00:58:33
young at the age of twenty seven.
00:58:35
And, you know,
00:58:36
one of the bad things with
00:58:38
physicians is that we don't
00:58:40
get any training whatsoever,
00:58:43
not even one hour of
00:58:44
training on any sort of
00:58:45
business skills or running
00:58:47
a practice or anything.
00:58:48
So I was flying by the seat of my pants,
00:58:51
right,
00:58:51
from the age of twenty seven
00:58:52
through about the age of my
00:58:55
early forties when this happened.
00:58:58
Nothing.
00:58:59
I was just flying by the
00:59:00
seat of my pants and I was
00:59:01
just going along for the ride.
00:59:04
But since then, again,
00:59:06
due to that unfortunate episode,
00:59:09
that's when the practice
00:59:10
actually started happening.
00:59:12
being super productive
00:59:14
because then I started
00:59:16
watching everything, managing, knowing,
00:59:17
you know, signing all the checks myself,
00:59:20
checking all the bills and
00:59:22
the invoices and this and that.
00:59:24
And that's when things
00:59:25
really turned in the right manner.
00:59:28
But as I look back at that,
00:59:30
I don't have any ill will at that person.
00:59:33
As a matter of fact,
00:59:34
that person still
00:59:35
occasionally communicates
00:59:36
with me on social media.
00:59:39
And that person still sends
00:59:41
our practice patients that
00:59:44
are referred to us.
00:59:45
Isn't that crazy?
00:59:47
So so I don't you know,
00:59:49
I don't have the ill will.
00:59:50
I mean,
00:59:50
I embrace it and I try to have a
00:59:53
sense of gratitude for what
00:59:55
happened because it's
00:59:57
helped shape the course of
00:59:59
these last fifteen,
01:00:00
twenty years of my practice.
01:00:02
Yes.
01:00:03
At the time, was it difficult?
01:00:04
Was it stressful?
01:00:07
I mean, boy, yeah,
01:00:08
I thought my world had
01:00:09
crumbled just like I did
01:00:10
with the real estate.
01:00:11
But once you muscle through
01:00:13
and you learn your lesson from it,
01:00:16
you make a better part of
01:00:20
your life from it.
01:00:20
I mean, your life can improve.
01:00:23
And so I'm just sharing
01:00:23
these stories because I'm
01:00:25
trying to tell your viewers
01:00:28
and tell the world
01:00:29
that let's embrace the
01:00:31
failures and let's not hold
01:00:33
it so negatively inside of us.
01:00:36
Let it go, learn from it,
01:00:39
write that ship and, and,
01:00:41
and we'll be better on the other side.
01:00:46
I just love that.
01:00:48
And it's such good advice,
01:00:50
not only for the listeners,
01:00:52
but for me as well.
01:00:55
I just, I have one last question.
01:00:57
So I,
01:00:59
I have a global gratitude group.
01:01:01
And so gratitude is very
01:01:02
much part of my teaching.
01:01:07
And I help people through difficult times.
01:01:09
I work a lot with the bereaved.
01:01:12
And so I have a group,
01:01:14
it's called Just One Little Thing.
01:01:16
And so every day, I say,
01:01:19
what I'm grateful for is
01:01:21
just one little thing.
01:01:22
The backstory to that is
01:01:25
there was a time in my life when
01:01:27
I could only hope to find
01:01:28
just one little thing.
01:01:29
I didn't know if I was going
01:01:30
to be able to find more
01:01:31
than one little thing.
01:01:33
So I was grieving, and I said to my son,
01:01:39
who is eleven at the time, and my husband,
01:01:43
we agreed that if we could
01:01:44
find one little thing each day,
01:01:46
that we would be okay.
01:01:49
And so we would talk about
01:01:50
it at the end of our day.
01:01:52
What's your one little thing today?
01:01:54
So my one little thing today
01:01:57
is I made some soup for my husband.
01:02:00
He has COVID today.
01:02:02
So I've got soup ready for
01:02:04
him when we finish the fall.
01:02:07
And so I can give him some comfort.
01:02:11
I'm always thankful that my
01:02:13
Labrador Retrievers behaved
01:02:15
during this podcast and
01:02:16
didn't want to join in the conversation.
01:02:20
And those are all mine.
01:02:21
That's just an example of my one little
01:02:23
So what's your one little thing for today?
01:02:31
Well, I guess what I would say,
01:02:32
since I haven't done that much today,
01:02:35
being a Saturday,
01:02:39
but the one thing that I'm
01:02:40
definitely grateful for today,
01:02:43
and not only today, but many days,
01:02:45
is in particular my wife's support.
01:02:51
I'm grateful, of course,
01:02:52
for having our children, etc.
01:02:55
I don't want to diminish that.
01:02:56
But basically,
01:03:00
here it is a Saturday and
01:03:01
I'm always seemingly working,
01:03:04
doing things.
01:03:05
Here I'm doing the podcast.
01:03:07
I've been doing other things
01:03:09
earlier that are busy work.
01:03:12
Yet she is so gracious that
01:03:16
she is not one of these
01:03:20
spouses who is so reliant
01:03:23
upon me that I have to be
01:03:25
there doing things with her
01:03:27
every minute of the day.
01:03:30
She lets me have my freedom,
01:03:32
my independence to do
01:03:34
things like this that I enjoy.
01:03:37
And I'm extraordinarily grateful for that.
01:03:39
I mean,
01:03:40
I probably don't tell her that enough.
01:03:43
But I know that not all
01:03:46
marriages are like that.
01:03:47
And I think the fact that
01:03:50
she gives me that level of
01:03:52
freedom to get other things done.
01:03:55
and I think the reason she
01:03:56
does is that she knows
01:03:57
ultimately that I am going
01:03:59
to do the things that she
01:04:01
needs for me to do to help
01:04:03
her um so I don't shy away
01:04:06
from that but at the same
01:04:08
time I kind of have my own
01:04:10
things that I do that she's
01:04:11
not uh directly involved
01:04:13
with and and she gives me
01:04:15
that freedom yet during the
01:04:16
work week you know she
01:04:17
doesn't see me that much because
01:04:21
In the morning,
01:04:22
she's taking our daughter to school.
01:04:25
I'm going to work early.
01:04:27
I come back.
01:04:28
you know, in the evening.
01:04:29
And then we have a little
01:04:31
bit of time at night, not a lot.
01:04:33
And so, you know,
01:04:34
the weeks go by and we
01:04:36
don't necessarily spend a
01:04:38
large quantity of time.
01:04:40
But, you know,
01:04:41
the little bit of the quality of time,
01:04:44
I think, is perhaps what makes up for it.
01:04:47
And one last point with that
01:04:48
is I'll share you a little funny story.
01:04:51
We had our once every five
01:04:55
year big master date
01:04:57
yesterday and then we had
01:05:00
his and her you know you
01:05:02
talk about his and her
01:05:04
pedicures and manicures and
01:05:05
things like that well no no
01:05:06
that's that's not good
01:05:07
enough for us we had his
01:05:09
and her colonoscopies yesterday
01:05:14
So, you know,
01:05:15
so that was our date yesterday.
01:05:16
And, you know, right after that,
01:05:20
as we're waking up from anesthesia,
01:05:22
we went across the street
01:05:23
to go to IHOP to celebrate
01:05:26
and have a nice big blowout breakfast.
01:05:32
It was very enjoyable.
01:05:33
I mean, we each enjoyed it.
01:05:34
We had some nice time chatting together.
01:05:38
quiet time together without the kids.
01:05:41
And so it's crazy, right?
01:05:43
So each person, each couple, you know,
01:05:46
we all have our
01:05:48
eccentricities and ours is
01:05:50
that we don't do the normal
01:05:53
things that you might
01:05:54
envision a couple doing.
01:05:56
I have to say that is the
01:05:58
most unique date that I
01:05:59
have ever heard of.
01:06:01
But, you know,
01:06:02
you managed to not only have
01:06:05
some lovely time with your wife, but you
01:06:07
you have your screening
01:06:08
completed for the next few years as well.
01:06:11
So that's right.
01:06:12
That's right.
01:06:12
So we're already planning
01:06:13
our next his and her date in five years.
01:06:19
Well, she sounds like an absolute amazing,
01:06:22
amazing woman who, um, you know, and,
01:06:26
and I, I feel the same with my husband.
01:06:29
It's funny.
01:06:29
They, uh,
01:06:30
the people who stand behind
01:06:32
us and are our cheerleaders
01:06:33
and show us grace when we need it.
01:06:37
It makes life worth living.
01:06:40
So to finish off,
01:06:43
I just want you to tell our
01:06:44
listeners where they can find us.
01:06:47
So they can go to YouTube to
01:06:48
see your TED Talks.
01:06:51
But where else can they find
01:06:54
you and how can they find your book?
01:06:56
Because I want everybody to
01:06:57
find your book.
01:06:59
Well, okay,
01:07:00
so I have a personal website
01:07:02
that's outside of my
01:07:02
practice website and that's
01:07:05
DrEmilioJusto.com and
01:07:07
that's spelled
01:07:08
D-R-E-M-I-L-I-O-J-U-S-T-O.com.
01:07:15
And in that website, I mean,
01:07:17
everything is there from
01:07:18
links to both of my TEDx talks,
01:07:21
which takes you to the YouTube
01:07:23
channel to there's a section
01:07:26
about my book and there's a
01:07:27
link to Amazon.
01:07:28
The book is available pretty
01:07:29
much almost everywhere
01:07:32
where books are sold.
01:07:33
So it's not just available through Amazon.
01:07:36
It's available through Barnes and Noble,
01:07:38
Target, Walmart, you name it.
01:07:41
Also,
01:07:42
just to mention briefly that I
01:07:44
actually narrated an audio
01:07:47
book for the book.
01:07:48
So it's on Audible also.
01:07:51
um but the the message
01:07:53
behind that is that I must
01:07:55
say I had an incredible
01:07:57
time narrating that book I
01:08:00
I just enjoyed it I I
01:08:01
looked forward every day it
01:08:03
was basically on the
01:08:04
weekends and every day that
01:08:06
was a recording day I I
01:08:07
greatly looked forward to
01:08:08
it it was just one of the I
01:08:10
just enjoyed it I call me
01:08:12
crazy but I enjoyed the narration process
01:08:17
That sounds so fun.
01:08:18
It sounds fun to me to do that.
01:08:20
And you certainly have a
01:08:21
great voice for Audible as well.
01:08:23
I'm sure that.
01:08:24
that translate it very well.
01:08:26
And I have Audible,
01:08:27
so now I'm gonna have to
01:08:28
download the book on Audible as well.
01:08:30
Yeah, yeah, please do.
01:08:31
Leave me a review if you would,
01:08:33
I would appreciate it.
01:08:34
But yeah,
01:08:36
but the Audible experience was great.
01:08:39
And, you know, I did that.
01:08:41
I didn't want there to be
01:08:42
like a professional
01:08:43
narrator because I wanted
01:08:45
my voice out there.
01:08:46
And again, someday,
01:08:47
whether it be my kids as
01:08:49
they get older and they,
01:08:50
let's say I'm gone.
01:08:51
I mean, I don't wanna be morbid,
01:08:52
but you know,
01:08:54
I hope that I'm gone before they're gone,
01:08:55
right?
01:08:56
I mean,
01:08:56
the worst thing for a parent is to
01:08:57
lose a child before the parent is gone.
01:09:02
But my voice will be there.
01:09:04
They can listen to that.
01:09:07
If I have grandchildren,
01:09:08
they can listen to it.
01:09:10
And the world can listen to it.
01:09:12
So in addition to listening
01:09:14
to me on the TEDx stage,
01:09:16
they can listen to my book
01:09:18
and listen to my voice.
01:09:20
And that was part of the grand plan,
01:09:23
right?
01:09:23
The grand plan is I wanted
01:09:25
to leave a legacy.
01:09:26
That's what really started
01:09:28
my entire TEDx journey.
01:09:31
That is so wonderful.
01:09:33
Thank you for being so
01:09:34
generous with your time today.
01:09:37
I know we kind of chatted on
01:09:40
and on and I want you to
01:09:41
come back again because this was just
01:09:44
Such a lovely conversation.
01:09:45
And I think I want to build
01:09:48
on this a little bit.
01:09:49
So hopefully you'll come back again.
01:09:53
Yeah, it's really been a delight, Kelly.
01:09:56
I've enjoyed it immensely.
01:09:58
It's a privilege to share
01:09:59
the stage with you.
01:10:00
Thank you for the honor.
01:10:02
And I would love to join you again.
01:10:04
Perhaps next time we can
01:10:05
talk about one of my other
01:10:07
favorite topics, which is obsession.
01:10:11
and talking about it in a
01:10:12
positive connotation,
01:10:13
not a negative connotation.
01:10:15
So maybe we can discuss that
01:10:17
next time around.
01:10:19
That sounds like a plan.
01:10:21
I like that.
01:10:22
Okay, thank you so much.
01:10:23
And thank you to everybody for listening.
01:10:25
We'll see you next time.