#15: Aligning with Purpose: Conversations with Diana Londoño, MD, Urologist & Physician Life Coach
Broken Beautiful Me - Stories of Hope, Gratitude & ResilienceSeptember 25, 2024
1
x
15
01:06:3022.22 MB

#15: Aligning with Purpose: Conversations with Diana Londoño, MD, Urologist & Physician Life Coach

Aligning with Purpose

Join us in this transformative episode with Dr. Diana Londoño, a highly respected Urologist based in LA, who shares her deep insights into purpose, existence, and spiritual alignment. Dr. Londoño, a certified life coach, is passionate about the power of gratitude and how it can shape our lives. Through her complimentary life coaching services, she helps fellow physicians rediscover their purpose and overcome the unique challenges of their profession.

In this episode, Dr. Londoño discusses:

  • The transformative power of gratitude and how it fosters personal and professional growth.
  • Aligning with your purpose: Tools and strategies for physicians and professionals to live with intention and authenticity.
  • Spiritual alignment: Practical ways to integrate spirituality into daily life and practice.
  • How life coaching can be a powerful support system for physicians dealing with stress, burnout, and life transitions.

Whether you're a healthcare professional or seeking alignment in your own life, Dr. Londoño's wisdom will inspire and guide you to live more purposefully.

Connect with Dr. Diana Londoño:

Discover how aligning with your purpose can transform both your personal and professional life.

---------------

Follow the Host, Kelly Buckley:

Stay connected with Kelly Buckley and join her journey of healing, resilience, and gratitude. Follow her on social media for more inspiring content, updates on future episodes, and insights on living a life full of hope and purpose.

If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast, share it with your friends and family, and leave a review. Your support helps spread the message of hope, resilience, and gratitude to more listeners around the world.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast, share it with your friends and family, and leave a review. Your support helps spread the message of hope, resilience, and gratitude to more listeners around the world.


00:00:02
Hello, everyone,

00:00:03
and welcome to another

00:00:04
episode of Broken Beautiful Knees,

00:00:06
Stories of Hope, Gratitude,

00:00:08
and Resilience.

00:00:10
I am so fortunate today to

00:00:12
have a wonderful guest,

00:00:13
Dr. Diana Mondogno.

00:00:16
She is a board-certified

00:00:17
urologist and one of the

00:00:19
ten percent of urologists

00:00:20
in the United States who are women.

00:00:23
Originally from Mexico City,

00:00:25
she received all of her

00:00:26
education in the Los Angeles area,

00:00:28
going to Claremont and Penn

00:00:29
College for her undergraduate studies,

00:00:32
and then attending UCLA for

00:00:34
her medical school training.

00:00:36
She finished a six-year

00:00:38
residency in neurology at

00:00:40
Kaiser Permanent in Los Angeles.

00:00:42
She has experienced burnout twice,

00:00:45
which led her to write and

00:00:46
speak about it to raise

00:00:48
awareness to help others.

00:00:50
She has published multiple

00:00:51
articles in Medscape, Doximity, KevinMD,

00:00:56
Men's Health, Giddy.com, MedMike.com,

00:01:00
and others.

00:01:01
She is also a contributing

00:01:03
author to books Thriving

00:01:05
After Burnout and Medic SOS.

00:01:08
Her burnout journey led her

00:01:09
to become a certified life

00:01:11
coach and founder of

00:01:12
ThePhysicianCoachSupport.com.

00:01:15
This free and confidential

00:01:17
one-to-one peer support

00:01:18
platform for physicians led

00:01:21
by certified physician life

00:01:22
coaches is available seven

00:01:25
days a week via Zoom.

00:01:26
In two thousand twenty two,

00:01:28
she received the Los

00:01:29
Angeles County Medical

00:01:30
Association Physician

00:01:32
Leadership Award for her work.

00:01:34
She is an international

00:01:35
speaker and guest on

00:01:36
multiple podcasts discussing wellness,

00:01:39
boundaries, ego, humanity in medicine,

00:01:42
mindset and mindfulness.

00:01:44
She has also been featured

00:01:46
on TV on Univision, Telemundo, Mundo Fox,

00:01:50
CNN Latino, KCET,

00:01:53
and ABC News as a health

00:01:54
consultant discussing urological topics.

00:01:57
She is also a Reiki master,

00:02:01
a chronic healing student,

00:02:02
and the mother of two

00:02:03
determined and joyful six

00:02:05
to eight-year-olds, two girls,

00:02:09
Daniela and Pamela.

00:02:11
And welcome, Diana, to the show.

00:02:13
It's so lovely to have you.

00:02:15
Thank you so much.

00:02:16
That's such a kind, warm intro.

00:02:19
I really just feel blessed

00:02:21
and honored to be here and

00:02:22
really excited to dive into

00:02:24
a great conversation today

00:02:26
that can helpfully help

00:02:27
others in any way.

00:02:28
Because I think some of the

00:02:29
things we kind of even

00:02:30
mentioned in the intro,

00:02:32
even though we're talking

00:02:33
about physicians, I mean,

00:02:34
burnout and stress and

00:02:36
All these things really affect all of us.

00:02:38
I mean, it's a pandemic of stress.

00:02:40
It's a pandemic of burnout,

00:02:41
no matter where you are.

00:02:43
And a lot of these topics

00:02:44
can really help no matter

00:02:45
who you are to really live a better life,

00:02:48
a joyful life in the ups and downs,

00:02:51
because we're going to have all of it.

00:02:52
It's not just rainbows and butterflies.

00:02:55
We have pain and pleasure in

00:02:57
everything we do.

00:02:58
And I think that that'll be

00:02:59
a great sort of segue to

00:03:00
start this conversation.

00:03:03
Awesome.

00:03:04
I am just,

00:03:05
I just need to start before we

00:03:07
jump into the questions and say,

00:03:09
I'm just so impressed.

00:03:10
You have two six and eight

00:03:12
year old girls and you are

00:03:13
still doing all that

00:03:14
wonderful work to help others.

00:03:16
Wow.

00:03:17
What time do you get up in the morning?

00:03:20
I get up early.

00:03:20
I'm usually around five or so.

00:03:23
It depends.

00:03:23
But I also take a lot of naps.

00:03:26
And I also have a wonderful

00:03:27
husband who actually

00:03:29
changed from being private equity.

00:03:31
That was his first time job

00:03:32
to be a full time dad.

00:03:33
And he's an amazing dad.

00:03:34
So I really can't take all

00:03:36
the credit and say it's all me.

00:03:37
It really is a great team.

00:03:39
And my husband is an amazing

00:03:40
father and husband and partner.

00:03:42
So it's not just, oh, I do everything.

00:03:44
It really has a lot of support.

00:03:46
So it's

00:03:47
you can't do it all alone.

00:03:48
You know, people think, oh,

00:03:49
I just do it all alone and don't sleep.

00:03:51
No, I take, like I said, multiple naps.

00:03:53
I take care of myself.

00:03:54
I schedule time to center, to be quiet,

00:03:57
to focus and really take

00:03:59
care of me because I have

00:04:01
to take care of a lot of people.

00:04:02
Yes, my children.

00:04:02
Yes, my husband.

00:04:04
Yes, my patients, like everybody.

00:04:05
So I have to find that time

00:04:07
for myself to take care of me and to

00:04:10
ground myself and center and

00:04:12
really be quiet and really

00:04:14
calm because sometimes it's chaos.

00:04:16
You know,

00:04:16
there's chaos outside all the time.

00:04:18
So when my children are screaming,

00:04:20
you know,

00:04:21
and when patients are angry or

00:04:23
things are happening and

00:04:24
things don't work out,

00:04:25
how do you find a way to be

00:04:26
calm and centered?

00:04:28
What is much easier to yell

00:04:29
back or get agitated or, you know,

00:04:32
roll your eyes.

00:04:32
I mean, that's really easy.

00:04:34
It's much faster,

00:04:35
but it takes a lot of time

00:04:36
and work to be able to be

00:04:38
calm during those times.

00:04:41
Yes.

00:04:42
It reminds me of,

00:04:44
and I'm not sure if you know the book,

00:04:46
Stephen Covey,

00:04:47
The Seven Habits of Highly

00:04:48
Successful People.

00:04:49
And he talks about sharpening the saw.

00:04:52
And basically the concept is

00:04:55
that you have to take care

00:04:56
of yourself before you can

00:04:57
then extend that care to other people.

00:05:00
I always love the quote,

00:05:02
you can't pour from an empty cup.

00:05:05
Yeah.

00:05:06
So you really have to do make that effort.

00:05:08
So if

00:05:08
For our listeners who may

00:05:10
not know your work,

00:05:12
can you briefly share just

00:05:13
a little bit beyond your

00:05:15
bio about your background

00:05:17
and then the path that led

00:05:18
you to the work that you're doing today?

00:05:22
For urology or for wellness or for other,

00:05:24
because there's a lot of things going on,

00:05:26
but I mean,

00:05:26
is there one that is more

00:05:28
helpful for your audience?

00:05:30
Well, I think probably, you know,

00:05:32
from your, from a wellness perspective,

00:05:37
You're working in the

00:05:38
medical community in a high stress job.

00:05:41
And so how did you realize

00:05:43
that you wanted to do this

00:05:44
work about wellness and

00:05:46
caring for the caregiver?

00:05:48
Yeah.

00:05:49
So, you know, it's like I said,

00:05:51
burnout is real.

00:05:53
I'll use the numbers for

00:05:54
physicians just to get a

00:05:55
little bit of perspective.

00:05:56
It's about sixty five

00:05:57
percent of all physicians are burned out.

00:05:59
And burnout means you're in chronic,

00:06:01
unmanaged stress, then leading to

00:06:03
a lot of physical, emotional, spiritual,

00:06:05
you know, psychological changes.

00:06:07
So then you're also maybe

00:06:08
you're going to have anxiety,

00:06:09
twenty five percent,

00:06:11
thirteen percent have

00:06:12
suicidal ideations and more

00:06:14
than four to five hundred

00:06:15
physicians every single

00:06:18
year die by suicide.

00:06:19
So these numbers are really staggering.

00:06:21
We take care of thousands of patients.

00:06:23
And the effect of us not

00:06:25
being here because we died by suicide,

00:06:27
it really is great.

00:06:29
Plus the impact on the family.

00:06:31
And not just after that happens,

00:06:33
but just leading up to it,

00:06:34
how disconnected we are with our families,

00:06:36
with our patients.

00:06:37
And the fact that when we're in burnout,

00:06:40
medical errors are going to

00:06:41
happen and they do happen.

00:06:42
It's not like some theoretical thing.

00:06:44
It's real.

00:06:45
And when we are patients,

00:06:47
because we're all patients and I just,

00:06:49
finish this really long bout

00:06:51
of a severe uterine infection.

00:06:54
And I can see real firsthand,

00:06:55
and I knew it before it

00:06:56
happened as a patient, you know,

00:06:57
how broken the system is.

00:06:59
And the system means not

00:07:00
just the insurance plan and not just,

00:07:03
you know,

00:07:04
the medical record system we

00:07:05
have to use and not just this and that.

00:07:07
It really is the people make

00:07:09
up the system.

00:07:10
the people is us and the

00:07:11
nurses and the tax and when

00:07:13
we're in burnout there's no

00:07:15
way we can give good care

00:07:17
there's no way we can be

00:07:18
compassionate and caring

00:07:19
and when you're sick you

00:07:21
know it's really important

00:07:22
to you know like kindness

00:07:24
goes such a long way you

00:07:26
know little words

00:07:27
Words matter.

00:07:28
I mean, every single thing you say,

00:07:30
you know, patients remember that.

00:07:32
I have patients that tell me

00:07:34
what a doctor said twenty

00:07:35
years ago and they still

00:07:36
remember verbatim what was said.

00:07:38
And many times it misses the mark.

00:07:40
It wasn't something uplifting.

00:07:42
And sometimes it was very

00:07:43
damaging how things were said to them.

00:07:45
So words matter.

00:07:47
How we say it matters.

00:07:49
Our body language matters

00:07:51
when we say this.

00:07:52
So if you're in stress state,

00:07:54
like fight or flight,

00:07:56
there's not a lot of room

00:07:57
for that compassion.

00:07:58
There's not a lot of room

00:07:59
for that kindness and that curiosity.

00:08:03
There just really isn't because stress

00:08:05
And curiosity,

00:08:06
they don't exist in the same place.

00:08:09
So for me personally was

00:08:11
going through burnout and

00:08:12
you can get there many ways, of course,

00:08:14
stress,

00:08:14
but fear is a great way to get there.

00:08:17
You're activating the same

00:08:18
sort of neurotransmitters in your body.

00:08:20
The same hormones are

00:08:21
getting release of stress,

00:08:22
fight or flight.

00:08:23
So whether again,

00:08:24
it's fear or stress or worry,

00:08:26
you're going to get to the same place.

00:08:28
And for me,

00:08:29
it was a lot of worry and fear

00:08:30
and stress.

00:08:31
From COVID.

00:08:32
I mean, I wasn't even front lines,

00:08:33
but I really like went like

00:08:36
overdrive on it.

00:08:37
And I absorbed everybody's

00:08:39
fear that wasn't even mine.

00:08:40
So then it compounded.

00:08:42
It was triggered by, you know,

00:08:44
childhood traumas.

00:08:45
You know, we have to heal.

00:08:46
And I felt I wasn't being listened to,

00:08:48
which is a childhood trauma.

00:08:50
So, again,

00:08:50
we have to realize all the

00:08:51
traumas we carry and how

00:08:53
that impacts us today if we

00:08:55
don't heal that.

00:08:57
And so I just went to chronic stress.

00:08:58
Chronic stress manifested for me,

00:09:01
and it does for many people,

00:09:02
because ninety percent of

00:09:03
all doctor visits are stress related,

00:09:05
actually.

00:09:06
So with your back pain and your migraines,

00:09:08
your high blood pressure

00:09:09
and your sugar out of

00:09:10
control is usually worsened

00:09:12
by or started by stress.

00:09:14
So we have to understand that, that,

00:09:16
you know,

00:09:17
this is a huge underlying cause.

00:09:19
But for me, you know, I had, you know,

00:09:22
hair loss.

00:09:23
I had insomnia.

00:09:24
I couldn't sleep.

00:09:26
I started grinding my teeth.

00:09:27
I destroyed my teeth.

00:09:28
I got an abscess in my tooth

00:09:30
from grinding.

00:09:31
I had to have a root canal.

00:09:32
I had chest pain, debilitated chest pain.

00:09:34
And I'm very healthy and I'm a runner,

00:09:35
but I could not walk across the room.

00:09:37
It was so much chest pain.

00:09:39
Then I had asthma.

00:09:40
At forty-two years old,

00:09:41
I developed asthma.

00:09:43
It has an inflammatory

00:09:44
response in your bronchus,

00:09:47
in your air ducts.

00:09:48
So how do you develop asthma at forty-two?

00:09:50
Nobody can tell me, but I'll tell you how.

00:09:52
It's chronic stress that is

00:09:54
just bathing every cell of your body.

00:09:56
And then I had everything.

00:09:58
I can go through every system.

00:09:59
And I even had

00:10:01
My joints were hurting, my fingers,

00:10:03
which is a problem if I'm a surgeon.

00:10:04
And my rheumatoid factor,

00:10:07
which is the autoimmune marker,

00:10:09
was elevated.

00:10:10
So why am I feeling autoimmune?

00:10:11
How is my body now literally

00:10:13
attacking itself?

00:10:14
And that's what happens when

00:10:15
you're in chronic stress.

00:10:16
Your body is attacking

00:10:17
itself with the chronic stress.

00:10:19
So it will manifest in a lot

00:10:20
of pain and back pain and this pain.

00:10:23
And these are actually signals from,

00:10:25
you know, your higher soul,

00:10:27
your higher good, trying to tell you,

00:10:29
like, pay attention.

00:10:31
Listen to your body.

00:10:32
Don't be disconnected from your body.

00:10:34
Because something is

00:10:35
happening that you have to pay attention.

00:10:37
And there's no better place

00:10:38
and way to pay attention to

00:10:40
something than when you have pain.

00:10:41
Because when you have pain,

00:10:42
you will pay attention.

00:10:44
Most of the time.

00:10:45
But then we ignore it and we

00:10:46
ignore it and we ignore it

00:10:47
until it just blows up and

00:10:49
it really becomes like a crash course.

00:10:52
So hopefully people don't

00:10:53
get to the place where you crash and burn,

00:10:55
but you may have to.

00:10:56
You really may have to.

00:10:58
And it's important to understand that

00:11:00
Whatever we put our attention to,

00:11:02
that's what's going to follow.

00:11:04
So if we're putting

00:11:04
attention to news that is inflammatory,

00:11:07
things that you're reading

00:11:08
that are divisive,

00:11:09
people you listen to that

00:11:11
are promoting hate and anger and division,

00:11:14
you're going to feel that

00:11:15
inside and you're going to

00:11:16
get worse with that.

00:11:17
But if you pay attention to

00:11:19
things that are uplifting

00:11:20
or music or news or books

00:11:22
or podcasts that really can

00:11:24
help you just feel a different way,

00:11:28
your life is going to be

00:11:29
very different because sort

00:11:31
of coaching one-on-one,

00:11:32
which we'll talk about in a second,

00:11:33
but like the circumstance,

00:11:35
whatever happens in your life, you know,

00:11:37
we have a choice.

00:11:37
We really do.

00:11:39
And then we have a thought

00:11:40
about that circumstance, whatever it is,

00:11:42
whatever happened to us.

00:11:44
And then that's going to

00:11:44
lead you to a feeling.

00:11:46
So your thought about that

00:11:48
circumstance will give you

00:11:49
a feeling and that feeling

00:11:50
is going to drive your action.

00:11:51
So we have to pay attention

00:11:53
to our thoughts and what is, you know,

00:11:55
getting consumed and what

00:11:57
we are recycling in our

00:11:58
heads all the time.

00:11:59
And those thoughts,

00:12:00
because that's going to

00:12:01
give you a very different

00:12:02
feeling and a very

00:12:03
different action and result.

00:12:05
So it's about mindfulness.

00:12:06
It's about awareness.

00:12:07
It's about like slowing down

00:12:08
to realize like, what am I thinking,

00:12:12
consuming, talking to who's in my circle.

00:12:14
These are really important

00:12:15
things we have to talk about,

00:12:16
like who is in your circle.

00:12:18
because that's going to become you.

00:12:20
So these, again,

00:12:21
these are things I sort of learned.

00:12:23
And then I just kind of really got into it,

00:12:25
because I need to figure

00:12:26
out what was going on with me.

00:12:28
Because I didn't learn that in med school,

00:12:29
it was not UCLA curriculum,

00:12:32
to understand it.

00:12:34
And I wanted to then help others.

00:12:36
Yeah, yeah.

00:12:38
And, and I mean, I think

00:12:40
I'm just listening to you

00:12:41
speak about your personal experience.

00:12:44
I worked in healthcare for a

00:12:46
number of years in management.

00:12:50
I remember on my fourth root canal saying,

00:12:54
what am I doing here?

00:12:55
What's going on?

00:12:57
It was stress.

00:12:57
It was completely stress.

00:12:59
There were so many things

00:13:01
like autoimmune that I

00:13:02
experienced as well.

00:13:04
It was completely related to

00:13:05
the stress that I was under.

00:13:08
And once you make those lifestyle changes,

00:13:13
it's truly a lifelong commitment, right?

00:13:15
You can't just say, okay,

00:13:16
I'm gonna do this until I feel better.

00:13:19
This has to be your life.

00:13:20
It has to be a commitment forever.

00:13:23
Yeah,

00:13:23
it's work and it's a lifestyle change.

00:13:24
It's not just a six-week

00:13:25
program and you go back to your old self.

00:13:27
It's really changing every

00:13:29
day what you do.

00:13:30
And it's work.

00:13:31
It's work to change all those habits.

00:13:34
It's work to stay grounded.

00:13:35
It's work to really change

00:13:37
what you wanna do.

00:13:38
But it's really important.

00:13:40
And the thing is, as you said,

00:13:42
these manifestations you're

00:13:43
having from stress, I mean,

00:13:44
they actually go away.

00:13:45
You will heal without any

00:13:47
medications and things if

00:13:48
you change that.

00:13:49
I mean, I didn't change anything else.

00:13:50
I didn't change my job.

00:13:51
I didn't change my husband and my kids.

00:13:53
And all those symptoms have gone away,

00:13:55
every single one.

00:13:56
I have nothing.

00:13:57
I don't have asthma anymore.

00:13:58
I don't have chest pain.

00:13:59
I sleep like a baby.

00:14:00
My hair is fine.

00:14:02
All these things will go

00:14:02
away because we also have

00:14:04
the innate power in our own

00:14:06
bodies to heal.

00:14:08
yes physicians and surgeons

00:14:10
like myself we can help you

00:14:11
know we we definitely need

00:14:13
medications at times we

00:14:14
definitely need surgery I

00:14:15
mean I'm not anti any of

00:14:16
that of course but we

00:14:19
haven't empowered like even

00:14:20
when I do surgery on you

00:14:21
your body has to heal I

00:14:23
will cut in and sew it up

00:14:24
but your body is doing the

00:14:26
work so your body has that

00:14:28
ability to do so and when

00:14:30
we are in a different

00:14:31
mindset of gratitude of

00:14:33
love instead of like anger

00:14:35
and fear you're actually

00:14:36
going to heal much faster

00:14:39
Very important what your

00:14:40
mindset is during illness

00:14:42
and during recovery,

00:14:43
because you're in a toxic environment,

00:14:47
you know,

00:14:47
you're not going to heal as well.

00:14:48
And it's just going to go

00:14:49
down the drain even more.

00:14:51
So all that is very important.

00:14:54
So for someone who hasn't

00:14:56
experienced burnout,

00:14:58
so you talked about kind of

00:14:59
those physical

00:15:01
manifestations that you face,

00:15:02
but for someone who hasn't

00:15:03
experienced burnout before,

00:15:07
if you can just kind of,

00:15:08
When did you kind of reach

00:15:10
that wall where you're like, okay,

00:15:12
I've got to change something.

00:15:14
But people don't really

00:15:15
understand what it's like

00:15:16
to be in that position.

00:15:17
Can you describe that a little bit?

00:15:20
Yeah, I mean,

00:15:22
I kind of find it fascinating

00:15:23
that people haven't because

00:15:24
it's so common.

00:15:25
But, you know,

00:15:26
we may not get to the whole

00:15:27
full-blown point,

00:15:28
but there's a lot of signs

00:15:29
before that where, you know,

00:15:31
you're angry all the time,

00:15:33
you're reactive.

00:15:34
That is like a first step of your burnout.

00:15:36
It's sort of like a little

00:15:37
curve and then you get to

00:15:38
the top and then you crash and burn.

00:15:39
But on the way up there,

00:15:41
you're always kind of angry

00:15:42
and reactive because that's

00:15:44
part of the fight.

00:15:45
I mean,

00:15:45
you're fighting literally with

00:15:46
people or you're like fleeing away.

00:15:49
and then you're cynical you

00:15:50
know everything's cynical

00:15:51
you know you're you can't

00:15:53
see the good in everything

00:15:54
you're just oh you know

00:15:55
you're saying something

00:15:56
about somebody or somebody

00:15:57
you're criticizing you

00:15:59
start sort of seeing people

00:16:01
kind of as people but as objects or as

00:16:04
for us as physicians, as diagnoses.

00:16:06
So you start doing something

00:16:08
called depersonalization.

00:16:09
So you really don't see that

00:16:10
person anymore.

00:16:11
So these are sort of, again,

00:16:14
you lose the play, the curiosity,

00:16:16
the ability to just be joyful.

00:16:18
So you don't have to get all

00:16:19
the way up there.

00:16:20
But many people are at the

00:16:22
very beginning stages.

00:16:24
I don't see people, honestly, you know,

00:16:26
being like, oh, calm and like, you know,

00:16:28
uplifting and joyful.

00:16:30
You can see that on social media.

00:16:32
What do you see?

00:16:32
You see people just jumping

00:16:34
on the train of cynicism

00:16:36
and of anger and division.

00:16:38
That's not a good place.

00:16:39
That is actually not our true nature.

00:16:43
We think it is because we're

00:16:44
all bathed in stress,

00:16:45
but our true nature is really the I am,

00:16:48
which is love and joy and peace.

00:16:52
We don't see that

00:16:53
a lot actually as we see the

00:16:54
opposite and and so again

00:16:57
we may not be all the way

00:16:58
up there but I see a lot of

00:16:59
people in the path um you

00:17:01
know they're cutting you

00:17:02
off and they're flipping

00:17:03
you off and they're yelling

00:17:04
at you for like minor

00:17:05
things I mean that that is

00:17:07
a stress state uh that will

00:17:09
go to burn up pretty pretty

00:17:11
quickly and you're so right

00:17:14
about um kind of what we

00:17:16
allow um in our lives right in terms of

00:17:20
you know, the news and the and I mean,

00:17:23
of course,

00:17:23
we have to be aware of what's

00:17:24
happening around us.

00:17:25
But this twenty four seven

00:17:28
news cycle has really, I think,

00:17:30
done a number on us because

00:17:32
everything is breaking news

00:17:34
and that just immediately

00:17:35
you get that stress response.

00:17:37
Right.

00:17:39
And then the consumption of social media.

00:17:43
You know,

00:17:44
is it and I'm on social media and

00:17:46
we're connecting because of

00:17:48
technology right now, but

00:17:51
Having the ability to step

00:17:52
away from that and go and

00:17:55
put your feet on the ground

00:17:57
inside and be in nature or, you know,

00:18:01
it's realizing that it's not everything,

00:18:04
right?

00:18:04
So, yes,

00:18:05
we're going to be exposed to some

00:18:06
of it at some point.

00:18:07
This is the world we live in,

00:18:09
but that we also have to

00:18:11
set those personal

00:18:12
boundaries of protection to

00:18:14
protect our feet.

00:18:16
absolutely and you know

00:18:17
social media or technology

00:18:19
or ai or money these are

00:18:21
tools and we can use both

00:18:23
for good and for bad I mean

00:18:24
money can be amazing you

00:18:26
can build uh like a

00:18:27
non-profit and churches and

00:18:29
feed people and house

00:18:31
people or you can do sex

00:18:32
trafficking with it and you

00:18:33
can do really awful things

00:18:35
with money so it's just a

00:18:36
tool and so is social media

00:18:38
I mean we can go down the

00:18:40
rabbit hole of like the

00:18:41
terrible things in social media,

00:18:43
or also see all the amazing

00:18:45
connections we can make,

00:18:47
connect with people that

00:18:48
are in your frequency of

00:18:49
what you want to do and help people.

00:18:50
And so it can be good as well.

00:18:53
And again,

00:18:53
it's all going back to it can be

00:18:55
good or bad.

00:18:56
And, you know,

00:18:57
we decide we have a choice

00:18:58
and we have boundaries we

00:18:59
have to place on things.

00:19:01
And again, we have a choice.

00:19:03
And again, life is pleasure and pain.

00:19:06
And, you know, I see that

00:19:08
especially in urology but in

00:19:09
anything we do you know

00:19:10
even a wedding could be so

00:19:12
joyful but so painful at

00:19:13
the same time we're so

00:19:14
joyful we're gonna join in

00:19:16
marriage with your partner

00:19:17
but you have a sadness of

00:19:19
maybe leaving you know your

00:19:20
life as it was and it's the

00:19:22
same thing you give birth

00:19:24
and it's so joyful but it's

00:19:25
so painful too literally

00:19:26
physically everything

00:19:28
So death of a family member, I mean,

00:19:30
it's joy because, you know,

00:19:33
and there's pain.

00:19:34
I mean,

00:19:34
there's joy because maybe they're

00:19:35
not suffering and there's a relief,

00:19:37
but there's also so much

00:19:38
pain of missing them and

00:19:40
remembering them.

00:19:40
So everything we do, you know, has both.

00:19:44
And we have to realize it's

00:19:45
both because we've sort of

00:19:47
been fed that life is just all joy.

00:19:49
And how can we have pain?

00:19:50
And why is there sadness?

00:19:51
And, you know, these are human emotions,

00:19:54
right?

00:19:54
know when we realize we have

00:19:56
a whole rainbow of them and

00:19:58
then it's not just happy

00:19:59
all day you know we can

00:20:00
just fully relax a little

00:20:02
more embrace it enjoy it

00:20:04
realize we have this

00:20:06
multi-dimension of us and

00:20:08
that's what makes us human

00:20:10
that's what makes us not be

00:20:11
a rock or a robot and that

00:20:13
is beautiful it's beautiful

00:20:14
to embrace our feelings and our humanity

00:20:18
So physiciansupport.com,

00:20:22
I want to jump into this

00:20:23
right now because this is

00:20:25
such a beautiful creation.

00:20:29
Can you tell me what

00:20:31
prompted you for the

00:20:33
creation of the peer support platform?

00:20:36
And tell me kind of what

00:20:38
happens on that platform

00:20:39
because I'm so curious about it.

00:20:41
Yeah, thank you.

00:20:43
It really went through my

00:20:44
own journey of burnout and

00:20:45
trying to figure out how do

00:20:47
I get out of this?

00:20:47
What is this?

00:20:48
Learning about it.

00:20:49
And one of the first things

00:20:50
was learning about coaching.

00:20:52
And I didn't know what coaching was.

00:20:54
Started to learn about it.

00:20:55
I decided, oh, well,

00:20:56
maybe instead of getting coached,

00:20:58
I can become a coach

00:20:59
because I can learn those

00:21:00
skills and you can never

00:21:01
take away education.

00:21:02
So if I learn it, well, that's great.

00:21:05
I decided to become a coach.

00:21:07
And when you do that training,

00:21:08
part of the training is you

00:21:10
have to coach other people.

00:21:12
As part of the hours,

00:21:13
you have to log to make

00:21:14
sure you're proficient in this.

00:21:16
And then I thought, well, like, if we are

00:21:19
like helping people and our

00:21:21
physician colleagues need help.

00:21:23
Like,

00:21:23
why can't I like build something

00:21:25
where we can help others

00:21:26
with coaching skills and

00:21:28
they can come and we can

00:21:30
just give this for free for them.

00:21:32
Because there was a,

00:21:33
there is still a sister

00:21:35
program called physician support line.

00:21:37
And this is all phone line.

00:21:39
And it started by a

00:21:40
psychiatrist where they had

00:21:42
this phone line where you

00:21:43
can call and talk about

00:21:44
anything to a colleague.

00:21:47
was bothering you or was you

00:21:48
know painful or you're

00:21:50
upset about and I used it

00:21:51
myself and I thought you

00:21:53
know I don't even know what

00:21:54
I talked about but I do

00:21:55
remember you know a couple

00:21:56
years later thinking like

00:21:58
somebody who was a

00:22:00
colleague who was drowning

00:22:01
in covet madness because

00:22:03
the psychiatrists were

00:22:04
getting hit really hard the

00:22:06
love and the time to do

00:22:08
this for a stranger

00:22:10
and to be there present and

00:22:11
then I thought God there's

00:22:12
so much good in this world

00:22:14
there's just so much hope

00:22:15
and it really planted the

00:22:16
seed of hope for me that

00:22:17
there's hope that there's

00:22:18
always hope there's always

00:22:19
goodness if we look for it

00:22:21
and we you know pay

00:22:22
attention to it so so I

00:22:25
thought well like I want to

00:22:26
do that for others but I'm

00:22:27
not a psychiatrist so if

00:22:29
I'm becoming a coach maybe

00:22:30
I could do this so I didn't

00:22:31
know how to do it but I

00:22:32
just figured it out and I got coaches

00:22:36
to come on the platform and

00:22:37
so they're all physicians

00:22:38
they're all life coaches

00:22:40
and basically it's very

00:22:41
easy you go to

00:22:42
physiciancoachsupport.com

00:22:44
you look at your time zone

00:22:46
you see what's available in

00:22:47
your time zone and you just

00:22:49
click and make an

00:22:49
appointment uh for an hour

00:22:51
if you want up to an hour

00:22:53
with a peer and you can talk

00:22:54
about anything

00:22:55
confidentially we don't

00:22:56
report to anybody we are

00:22:58
really there just to use

00:23:00
those skills as a coach to

00:23:02
just help you work through

00:23:03
whatever's happening that

00:23:04
you know is getting you

00:23:05
stuck and overwhelmed and

00:23:06
sad and fearful so you can

00:23:08
get to a better place so

00:23:10
it's different than your

00:23:12
pastor and it's different

00:23:13
than your best friend and

00:23:14
it's different than a

00:23:14
therapist because we we

00:23:16
don't prescribe anything

00:23:16
anyway but you know we're

00:23:18
just really helping

00:23:19
you know, look at things,

00:23:21
poke holes in your arguments,

00:23:22
like put the mirror on your

00:23:24
kind of thoughts or your

00:23:25
spiral spiraling down into and realize,

00:23:28
maybe there's a different

00:23:29
way to look at this,

00:23:30
because there always is.

00:23:32
And that can really help you

00:23:33
get out of that overwhelm

00:23:35
and that fear and that

00:23:36
anger when you look at

00:23:37
things a little bit differently.

00:23:39
So that's what we're there for.

00:23:40
We've been there for, you know,

00:23:41
three years now,

00:23:42
and we really are just

00:23:44
there to support our colleagues and

00:23:47
taking that first step of

00:23:48
like taking care of yourself.

00:23:49
Because many come and realize like, oh,

00:23:51
wow, I really need a therapist.

00:23:53
I don't need coaching.

00:23:54
I need a therapist.

00:23:55
And that's very true.

00:23:56
And sometimes you need both.

00:23:58
But you got to take that

00:23:59
first step and just realizing,

00:24:01
just taking that small

00:24:02
action of like we're going

00:24:04
into the site or maybe

00:24:06
making the appointment is

00:24:07
hopefully a step into

00:24:08
people realizing their worth,

00:24:10
realizing they matter,

00:24:12
realizing they got to take

00:24:13
care of themselves.

00:24:14
So if we could do that for

00:24:15
people or like plant the

00:24:16
seed of hope and of goodness, you know,

00:24:20
that can hopefully inspire

00:24:21
them to take care of themselves.

00:24:23
Absolutely.

00:24:24
So how do you feel?

00:24:26
Do you feel like the

00:24:27
physicians are that you are

00:24:29
encountering when people

00:24:30
are more open to this this

00:24:32
type of approach?

00:24:33
I think I mean,

00:24:35
I think that we are all

00:24:36
seeing and I know that I'm

00:24:37
just talking to some of my

00:24:38
nursing friends post-COVID

00:24:40
who like some have just retired early,

00:24:43
to be honest,

00:24:44
because it just was too much.

00:24:47
We lost about one hundred

00:24:47
twenty five thousand

00:24:48
physicians that left

00:24:49
medicine in the last couple of years.

00:24:51
And that's one million,

00:24:52
which is already a huge shortage.

00:24:54
So so many of us have left

00:24:56
and say we're gone or we're done.

00:24:58
Like this is not worth it.

00:24:59
Why are we here?

00:25:00
You know, the system is broken.

00:25:02
Some of them want to fix it.

00:25:03
Some of them just want to leave.

00:25:05
There's many things.

00:25:06
But we're getting, like you said, nurses,

00:25:08
physicians like leaving.

00:25:11
And we have a shortage as it is.

00:25:13
So this is really,

00:25:16
people don't think it matters.

00:25:17
Oh, just physicians, whatever,

00:25:18
my life will go on.

00:25:19
But when you have to wait

00:25:20
four months for anything,

00:25:21
which I had to as a patient,

00:25:24
when you have to really

00:25:25
advocate for yourself

00:25:26
because errors are being made,

00:25:28
it's really scary.

00:25:29
I mean, it really is.

00:25:30
And I'm a physician.

00:25:31
And let me tell you, the stuff I've seen,

00:25:34
you know if I didn't have

00:25:36
all the support people can

00:25:37
call you know I really

00:25:38
could have gone south

00:25:40
really fast really sick you

00:25:41
know because of yours

00:25:43
because of things and

00:25:44
whether it's incompetence

00:25:45
or whether it's burnout or

00:25:47
all of it I mean it's real

00:25:48
and it matters when it's

00:25:50
your child your mom your

00:25:52
grandma or yourself so you

00:25:54
know everybody really has

00:25:56
to try to figure out what

00:25:56
can we do to help

00:25:59
physicians to help medicine

00:26:00
to help the system

00:26:02
because it's going to take

00:26:04
our toll on ourselves, you know,

00:26:06
before you know it.

00:26:06
And you may not realize all

00:26:08
the errors that were done in your care,

00:26:09
but they are there.

00:26:11
And nobody wants to admit it,

00:26:12
but it's real.

00:26:13
And so, you know,

00:26:15
when was the last time you

00:26:16
went to a doctor and they

00:26:16
were actually kind,

00:26:17
they looked at you in the eyes,

00:26:19
they gave enough time for you,

00:26:21
all your questions were answered.

00:26:23
I think that's not usually the norm,

00:26:25
you know, it's just not.

00:26:26
So do better.

00:26:28
And so we need to

00:26:30
gather everybody together to

00:26:32
realize this is really important.

00:26:35
And, you know,

00:26:36
sometimes when a patient

00:26:37
leaves that exam room and

00:26:39
they don't feel like they were heard,

00:26:41
right?

00:26:44
It's not necessarily the

00:26:45
fault of the physician

00:26:46
because sometimes the

00:26:47
physician knows the number

00:26:49
of patients that are coming behind.

00:26:51
They've had like a huge

00:26:53
workload before that patient.

00:26:55
And, and it's,

00:26:58
I mean,

00:26:58
it's just a challenging situation

00:27:00
all the way around.

00:27:01
The patient deserves to be

00:27:02
listened to and heard and understood.

00:27:05
But on the flip side,

00:27:06
maybe that physician is not

00:27:07
receiving the support that

00:27:08
they need in order to deliver that care.

00:27:11
Oh, absolutely.

00:27:12
And I'm not blaming physicians.

00:27:13
It's not all their fault.

00:27:14
No, of course,

00:27:15
the system is constraining us to care.

00:27:18
like a conveyor belt system

00:27:19
that we just turn people

00:27:20
through and we have no say.

00:27:22
And then when you start

00:27:22
speaking up as a physician,

00:27:24
there's real consequences.

00:27:26
Like many never want to have

00:27:27
that type of care where you

00:27:29
don't have the time.

00:27:30
But the moment you speak up

00:27:31
is the moment you get fired.

00:27:33
The moment you get replaced

00:27:34
by a non-physician, the moment that,

00:27:37
Your bonus is cut.

00:27:38
I mean,

00:27:38
these are real things that happen

00:27:40
all the time to my colleagues,

00:27:41
all the time.

00:27:41
I mean,

00:27:42
I just had my friend on Thursday

00:27:43
tell me they were replaced

00:27:45
by a nurse practitioner

00:27:46
because it's cheaper.

00:27:47
And people tell me like how

00:27:49
they don't get their promotions.

00:27:50
And women, women especially,

00:27:52
they speak up and they are

00:27:55
placed on probation and

00:27:56
they're placed on leave,

00:27:58
psychiatric leave because

00:27:59
they say they're struggling.

00:28:00
I mean,

00:28:01
it's real what happens when you speak up.

00:28:03
And I understand when they

00:28:04
don't because they're

00:28:06
Physicians also have huge

00:28:07
amounts of debt looming

00:28:09
over their head and they have families.

00:28:11
And then,

00:28:11
so if you speak up and you lose your job,

00:28:13
you know,

00:28:14
like your family settled in the town,

00:28:16
you know, of course you can go anywhere,

00:28:18
but you know,

00:28:18
you have to think about your

00:28:19
children and your wife and your husband.

00:28:21
So there's real consequences

00:28:23
to speaking up.

00:28:24
There's real fear because

00:28:25
the repercussions are real

00:28:27
and we think it's all lovey lovey,

00:28:29
but part of what we see on the inside,

00:28:32
you know, it's really challenging.

00:28:33
Again,

00:28:34
I understand why they don't or they can't,

00:28:36
because the system is very oppressive.

00:28:41
The system is not compassionate.

00:28:44
And there's also big,

00:28:45
deep pockets of greed, honestly,

00:28:47
from insurance and big

00:28:49
pharma and from a lot of

00:28:50
things that are really

00:28:52
meddling in their ability

00:28:53
to take care of patients.

00:28:54
You know,

00:28:54
it's not just the physicians are bad.

00:28:56
Nope.

00:28:56
It's like everybody else

00:28:58
taking that piece of the pie.

00:29:00
We are overworked.

00:29:01
We're barely in survival,

00:29:02
so how can you even have

00:29:04
enough energy to fight?

00:29:05
You know,

00:29:06
we're in survival mode every single day.

00:29:07
You know, we haven't eaten.

00:29:09
We haven't peed.

00:29:10
We haven't done, you know,

00:29:11
anything because we have

00:29:11
fifty patients a day.

00:29:13
So I also have compassion

00:29:14
for my colleagues.

00:29:15
It's not easy.

00:29:18
It is not easy at all.

00:29:21
And it goes fundamentally

00:29:23
like right out of the gate

00:29:24
as soon as you graduate.

00:29:26
You take an oath and you

00:29:27
believe that you are taking

00:29:30
this oath to care for people.

00:29:32
And then that is mixed up

00:29:35
into the business of healthcare.

00:29:37
And it just doesn't mix, right?

00:29:40
It doesn't feel good.

00:29:42
And I remember being a nurse

00:29:44
in ICU and not paying.

00:29:45
And as a urologist,

00:29:46
you know that that's not a

00:29:47
good thing to do.

00:29:50
But you are pressured to put

00:29:54
in a certain level of production.

00:29:58
And it just leads to errors, to fatigue,

00:30:03
and like you said, burnout.

00:30:06
Talk about humanity in medicine.

00:30:08
How do we bring it back?

00:30:11
Yeah, well,

00:30:11
that's a billion dollar question,

00:30:13
but I think we can.

00:30:14
I think we have to start with ourselves.

00:30:16
I think it starts with how Gandhi said,

00:30:18
be the change you want to be.

00:30:19
You know, we always want to say, oh,

00:30:21
life is not like this.

00:30:22
Life is not like that.

00:30:23
We don't see this.

00:30:24
It has to start with self.

00:30:25
You can't want humanity and

00:30:28
love in the world if you're

00:30:29
not love and humane,

00:30:31
like first yourself and then to others.

00:30:33
There can't be peace if you

00:30:36
are at war with yourself

00:30:37
and your thoughts and your own body.

00:30:39
It just doesn't work like that.

00:30:41
You have to be what you want to see.

00:30:43
And when you start with you,

00:30:46
then this energy affects other people,

00:30:48
positivity or negativity,

00:30:49
but we want the positivity.

00:30:51
When you heal, then other people heal.

00:30:53
When you help yourself,

00:30:56
other people get help

00:30:56
because now you know what?

00:30:59
helped you and you can pass this forward.

00:31:01
And it's sort of like lighting the candle.

00:31:03
When your candle is lit,

00:31:04
you can light it for others

00:31:05
all the way around.

00:31:07
And it has a ripple effect.

00:31:09
So we have to start with ourselves.

00:31:11
It's not an outside job or a

00:31:14
thing that has to be done.

00:31:15
It's self.

00:31:16
Right.

00:31:20
In my work,

00:31:22
I use gratitude as a means of

00:31:24
growth and healing.

00:31:26
And I'm not sure what your

00:31:28
experience is with this,

00:31:29
but sometimes when I say, you know,

00:31:31
growth through gratitude

00:31:32
and we're talking about

00:31:33
people in difficult

00:31:34
circumstances and people

00:31:36
have a view of gratitude as, you know,

00:31:39
a little woo woo, you know,

00:31:41
maybe a little a little surface.

00:31:44
And I think that there is a

00:31:45
misconception out there.

00:31:47
And this is I speak of it often that,

00:31:50
you know,

00:31:51
gratitude doesn't mean that

00:31:52
you're in denial about what's tough.

00:31:56
Using gratitude does not

00:31:57
mean that you're not

00:31:59
completely realistic about

00:32:00
what's happening around you.

00:32:02
It's just that you're

00:32:03
looking for things that are

00:32:06
still there despite what's

00:32:08
happening around you.

00:32:09
And you're finding those

00:32:11
things to be grateful for.

00:32:13
Do you have pushback when

00:32:15
you talk about gratitude sometimes?

00:32:17
I mean, yay and nay, but gratitude,

00:32:21
it's rooted in every cell of your body.

00:32:24
So when you have those

00:32:25
thoughts of gratitude, your brain changes,

00:32:28
your chemistry changes,

00:32:29
your cells change.

00:32:30
Because hormones like

00:32:32
serotonin and dopamine,

00:32:34
these are the happy hormones,

00:32:35
they get released in your body.

00:32:37
So that's actually science.

00:32:38
There's nothing other than

00:32:40
just science about that.

00:32:41
And it's also an energy.

00:32:43
It's also a frequency.

00:32:44
And that's quantum physics.

00:32:45
So, you know,

00:32:46
people that don't believe in that, well,

00:32:47
you don't believe in quantum physics.

00:32:48
That's that's interesting.

00:32:49
That's all these laws that

00:32:52
govern our universe.

00:32:54
So there's nothing more

00:32:55
scientific than that.

00:32:57
And these are frequencies and these are.

00:32:59
hormones that get released

00:33:01
and they make changes in your body.

00:33:02
So gratitude changes how you feel,

00:33:05
not just because it feels good,

00:33:06
but because in your body

00:33:07
things are happening.

00:33:09
So it's sort of like your

00:33:10
natural antidepressant and

00:33:12
your natural Prozac.

00:33:13
You can create that in your body,

00:33:16
just like you can create

00:33:18
that state of illness and

00:33:20
stress and disease

00:33:22
by being in stress and fear

00:33:24
because you will release

00:33:25
that stress hormone, the cortisol,

00:33:27
all the other ones that

00:33:29
increase your sugar,

00:33:30
increase your blood pressure.

00:33:31
That's what happens at your cell level.

00:33:33
That's science.

00:33:34
There's nothing new about it.

00:33:35
That will happen.

00:33:36
So you decide which one you

00:33:39
want to have bathing every

00:33:40
single cell of your body.

00:33:42
And so it's like,

00:33:43
why would you choose the pain?

00:33:45
I mean, you can choose that, of course,

00:33:46
but actually that is a choice.

00:33:48
So we have a choice to think

00:33:51
about what we want to think about.

00:33:52
We cannot force it.

00:33:53
People have to decide.

00:33:55
This is what I want to do in my life.

00:33:57
This is what I want to feel or not feel.

00:33:59
And we have a choice.

00:34:00
And also.

00:34:03
You know,

00:34:03
it's also like a scientific experiment.

00:34:05
If you want to be scientific,

00:34:06
like try it out.

00:34:07
And that's a scientific experiment.

00:34:09
Try this hypothesis.

00:34:10
Like,

00:34:10
can you be in a state of gratitude

00:34:12
for two or three weeks and

00:34:13
see what happens after?

00:34:15
And then you see the results.

00:34:16
That is a scientific experiment.

00:34:18
Try the hypothesis.

00:34:19
Boy, is this going to work?

00:34:20
I'm going to do the work.

00:34:21
See what happens.

00:34:22
Those are results.

00:34:23
Check it out.

00:34:24
So that is scientific.

00:34:26
Do it.

00:34:27
See the difference.

00:34:28
And again,

00:34:28
I've seen the difference where

00:34:30
I'm consuming the social media,

00:34:32
Facebook and all these

00:34:33
inflammatory things all for

00:34:35
an hour and how I felt and

00:34:36
how my stress got worse.

00:34:38
Or versus I spend my time, you know,

00:34:41
either journaling or writing or, you know,

00:34:43
meditating, praying,

00:34:44
whatever you want to call it for yourself,

00:34:46
that time to rest, digest and calm down.

00:34:50
Like, how is your day different?

00:34:51
I mean, how do you start your day?

00:34:53
Do you just wake up and like

00:34:54
rush out of bed and start

00:34:56
barking because things are

00:34:57
late and you didn't do this

00:34:58
and got to do this and like

00:35:00
all your to-do lists and you start,

00:35:02
you know, in panic basically.

00:35:04
Or do you wake up in gratitude like, oh,

00:35:06
I'm grateful for today.

00:35:07
I'm going to go spend my thirty minutes,

00:35:09
fifteen minutes, ten minutes,

00:35:11
whatever you want to put.

00:35:12
And just again, pray, meditate, be quiet,

00:35:16
breathe, listen to music,

00:35:18
read a text if you're spiritual,

00:35:20
like whatever you want to do.

00:35:22
Like there's many flavors.

00:35:23
You don't have to be religious.

00:35:24
This is not religion.

00:35:25
You know, my religion is really love.

00:35:28
That is my religion.

00:35:29
So I'm going to focus and

00:35:30
center on that religion of

00:35:32
love and gratitude is all the same thing.

00:35:35
And that will give you a

00:35:36
different outcome.

00:35:37
So I think when you kind of

00:35:38
step back and look at it and also,

00:35:40
you know, I mean,

00:35:40
I really do talk about like

00:35:42
the science behind it for

00:35:44
the people that want to see the science,

00:35:46
you know, that may be helpful.

00:35:47
You know,

00:35:47
some people don't want to know

00:35:48
the science and people do.

00:35:49
Some people just want to feel it.

00:35:51
Many people are so

00:35:52
disconnected from their

00:35:53
body and their emotions

00:35:54
that they don't feel anything.

00:35:56
So you can't talk about

00:35:57
feelings because they're so hardened.

00:35:59
So they want to do the left brain.

00:36:00
And so, okay, there's,

00:36:01
there's a lot of info on the left brain.

00:36:03
I can show it to you if you like.

00:36:05
But try it out.

00:36:06
And then you tell me how terrible it is.

00:36:07
You can't tell me you hate

00:36:09
bananas if you've never tried a banana.

00:36:11
Try the banana.

00:36:12
Try it.

00:36:14
And then you can make your

00:36:15
whole opinion about it.

00:36:16
Then you can tell me it's

00:36:17
the worst thing ever.

00:36:18
But you have to try it.

00:36:19
That's right.

00:36:21
Yeah.

00:36:21
Now,

00:36:21
you mentioned about meditation and

00:36:25
breathing.

00:36:27
I recently did a session of

00:36:29
transformational breath work.

00:36:31
And it was so interesting for me.

00:36:35
And we had a conversation

00:36:37
pre-session about, you know,

00:36:38
how we hold trauma on a cellular level.

00:36:41
We hold it in our bodies.

00:36:43
And we talked about how we

00:36:47
as humanity have a very

00:36:49
shallow breathing.

00:36:50
We don't breathe deeply

00:36:51
throughout the day.

00:36:52
And this session, it was, you know,

00:36:54
an hour and a half.

00:36:56
But I had to sit in my car

00:36:57
for about ten minutes after

00:36:58
in the parking lot because I was like,

00:37:00
what just happened?

00:37:01
Because it felt so wonderful.

00:37:04
just take that deep breath

00:37:05
and kind of center yourself

00:37:07
and I don't think we give

00:37:09
ourselves enough time in

00:37:10
this world to do that yeah

00:37:12
that's why you have to have

00:37:14
that time scheduled you

00:37:16
know people want to

00:37:16
schedule all kinds of

00:37:17
things all day meetings

00:37:18
days that no you have to

00:37:19
schedule your time and that

00:37:21
time I mean at least for me

00:37:22
my practice like it includes

00:37:25
movement and includes

00:37:26
breathing and includes

00:37:28
talking about like you're

00:37:28
limiting things that you

00:37:29
want to get rid of and

00:37:30
includes meditation and

00:37:31
includes movement again.

00:37:33
I mean, it's, it's, it's time,

00:37:35
but you have like, you do like,

00:37:37
Keep that trauma in all the

00:37:38
cells and the fascias.

00:37:40
That's where it's stuck,

00:37:40
usually in the hips especially.

00:37:42
We hold on to that trauma.

00:37:44
And you've got to breathe it out.

00:37:46
I mean, the word inspiration and inspire,

00:37:48
that's to breathe in spirit.

00:37:50
So what are you doing when

00:37:51
you're breathing?

00:37:52
You're breathing in spirit, okay?

00:37:54
And then you've got to

00:37:55
exhale all the junk.

00:37:56
And so breathing is essential.

00:37:58
And, yes, when you're in chronic stress,

00:38:00
which we all are,

00:38:02
We have these little shallow breathings.

00:38:04
We never fully use our

00:38:05
diaphragm to expand and

00:38:07
breathe out all the literal

00:38:09
toxins of the body, that CO, too,

00:38:11
we've got to get rid of.

00:38:11
But all the other energetic,

00:38:14
all the other psychological

00:38:16
things are stuck in our body.

00:38:17
We've got to move.

00:38:18
And these are some of the

00:38:20
principles of yoga.

00:38:21
And I'm not talking,

00:38:22
what we think about in the

00:38:24
West is the poses.

00:38:25
It's called the asanas, like the movement.

00:38:27
But yoga means a lot of things.

00:38:29
more than what we think about in the West.

00:38:31
And yoga means a union or yoke,

00:38:32
like uniting.

00:38:33
So, but the asanas,

00:38:35
the postures that we think about, I mean,

00:38:37
you're using your breath

00:38:38
and movement to really get

00:38:41
to a different state.

00:38:42
That's what you're doing.

00:38:43
You're breathing and doing a

00:38:45
pose to move all this

00:38:47
energy from this place that

00:38:49
is stuck out of your body.

00:38:50
And so that's really important.

00:38:52
Again, you don't have to do yoga.

00:38:53
You can do whatever you want.

00:38:54
I mean, you can do Tai Chi also.

00:38:55
You can do Qigong.

00:38:56
You can do whatever, but...

00:38:58
practices that have been

00:38:59
around for thousands of years.

00:39:00
I mean, there's a reason.

00:39:02
We sort of have this ego thing like, oh,

00:39:04
we're the best.

00:39:05
We know everything.

00:39:05
It's been a hundred years

00:39:06
since we discovered antibiotics, people.

00:39:10
It hasn't been that long

00:39:11
that we are changing the world.

00:39:13
These practices have been

00:39:14
around for so long for a reason,

00:39:16
and they have lasted

00:39:17
because there's wisdom and they work.

00:39:19
And so if you want to embrace it, great.

00:39:21
If you don't, that's fine.

00:39:22
But you've got to do something.

00:39:23
If you don't want to do your Qigong,

00:39:25
that's OK.

00:39:25
But you've got to do something because,

00:39:27
again,

00:39:28
where we are today is in chronic

00:39:29
stress and anger and reactivity and hate.

00:39:32
And that's not a normal state of being.

00:39:36
It's not.

00:39:37
OK,

00:39:38
so I want to jump into something that

00:39:39
is a little off topic of

00:39:41
what we're chatting about now.

00:39:43
Because I was chatting with my niece,

00:39:46
Giselle,

00:39:46
I'm going to share that to her

00:39:47
because she's fabulous.

00:39:49
And she's a physical

00:39:49
therapist and she

00:39:51
specializes in pelvic floor

00:39:53
health for women.

00:39:55
And, you know,

00:39:56
many women face incontinence

00:40:00
and it's a very, it's a topic that,

00:40:03
you know, women are afraid to discuss.

00:40:06
And I just wanted to get your thoughts on,

00:40:08
you know,

00:40:08
what do you think is the biggest

00:40:09
issue that women face with

00:40:11
pelvic floor issues in the long term?

00:40:13
Because that is, again,

00:40:14
it goes back to a stressful

00:40:15
situation where women

00:40:17
remove themselves from

00:40:18
social situations or

00:40:20
opportunities because they

00:40:22
don't think they feel such

00:40:25
anxiety about bladder control.

00:40:29
And I was just wondering if you, you know,

00:40:31
what you can say about that

00:40:32
to better educate us about

00:40:34
prevention and care for

00:40:35
pelvic floor issues and

00:40:36
what you see in your practice.

00:40:38
Yeah, well, thank you, first of all,

00:40:39
to Giselle,

00:40:40
because physical therapists are amazing.

00:40:41
They're like God's angels.

00:40:43
They really do work.

00:40:45
And not just only in the pelvic floors,

00:40:47
you know,

00:40:47
kind of encompasses a lot of things.

00:40:49
Yes,

00:40:49
we can talk about leakage and control

00:40:51
of urine.

00:40:51
But there's also the other

00:40:52
part where things are really,

00:40:54
really tight and they have

00:40:55
like pelvic floor dysfunction.

00:40:56
And that's, again,

00:40:57
where we're holding that

00:40:58
stress and the trauma and the pain.

00:41:00
And

00:41:02
I see it all the time

00:41:03
because I really do

00:41:03
psychourology all day.

00:41:05
I really address the psychological,

00:41:07
the trauma components that

00:41:08
then manifest in symptoms.

00:41:11
So we can see, for example,

00:41:12
when there's stress and

00:41:13
there's worry or there's

00:41:14
been trauma or there was

00:41:16
trauma that got triggered,

00:41:17
this urological symptoms

00:41:19
will also be triggered.

00:41:20
And that's frequency and urgency to pee.

00:41:23
You have to go a lot, you know,

00:41:25
right away.

00:41:26
Then you have pain, pelvic pain,

00:41:28
bladder pain.

00:41:29
In men,

00:41:29
it can also be like hesitancy to

00:41:31
pee and it's like kind of strained.

00:41:33
Yes, that could also be prostate issues,

00:41:34
but it manifests the same way.

00:41:36
And that's really from all

00:41:37
this stress and worry.

00:41:39
You know,

00:41:40
our pelvic floor is like a

00:41:41
hammock of muscles.

00:41:42
It really is.

00:41:42
It's a hammock.

00:41:43
It holds up bladder or prostate.

00:41:46
And when it gets tense,

00:41:47
it gets really tight.

00:41:49
Just like we type a lot and

00:41:50
our shoulders get tight and

00:41:51
then we kind of need like a massage.

00:41:53
Well, the same thing will happen there.

00:41:55
But it's so it's internal

00:41:56
that you're never going to

00:41:57
massage it and you're never

00:41:58
going to be able to feel it per se.

00:42:00
But it will manifest in symptoms.

00:42:03
And if we don't address the stress,

00:42:06
it's not going to get better.

00:42:07
If we don't find ways to name it,

00:42:09
to tame it,

00:42:10
you have to call it what it is

00:42:11
and what happened so they can connect.

00:42:13
They're like, oh, this event happened,

00:42:15
and then now I'm

00:42:16
manifesting all these symptoms.

00:42:18
Many, many times I'll ask a patient,

00:42:20
You know,

00:42:20
they told me I started two years

00:42:22
ago and I was like, OK,

00:42:23
so like did anything happen

00:42:24
like two years ago, a little before,

00:42:26
you know, something at work,

00:42:27
something in family.

00:42:28
And they're like, oh, yeah,

00:42:29
like my business is failing and, you know,

00:42:31
we've been struggling.

00:42:32
And then my kids moved into our house and,

00:42:34
you know, they tell me all the things.

00:42:35
And I'm like, well,

00:42:36
do you think it could be related?

00:42:37
Like, yeah,

00:42:38
maybe it's been so much stress.

00:42:39
So they have to like

00:42:41
associate and realize there

00:42:42
was a connection because if

00:42:45
you don't name it, you can't fix it.

00:42:47
You've got to put in the light.

00:42:49
So once you put in the light,

00:42:50
that's some awareness.

00:42:51
But then you have to work on

00:42:53
ways to get rid of this

00:42:54
stuff that is stuck there.

00:42:55
And that could be physical therapists.

00:42:57
They're going to help you lengthen,

00:43:00
stretch,

00:43:01
do exercise to release it.

00:43:02
And manually, physically,

00:43:04
there's also many vibratory

00:43:06
tools we can use to

00:43:07
literally massage

00:43:08
internally to release that

00:43:10
energy that is stuck.

00:43:12
Warm bath through salt.

00:43:14
I mean, there's many things we can do,

00:43:15
but that is exactly

00:43:18
manifested from stress and worry.

00:43:20
Now that also can,

00:43:21
make it worse because that

00:43:22
carries stress and anxiety

00:43:23
itself because there's pain

00:43:24
and nobody can figure out

00:43:25
what's wrong with you.

00:43:26
Well, what's wrong with your stress?

00:43:28
That nobody knows that there was, you know,

00:43:30
until they see me after five doctors.

00:43:32
The other part that you

00:43:33
mentioned is the other part

00:43:35
that now things are a little bit looser.

00:43:36
So we don't have the support

00:43:38
many times in women because of age,

00:43:40
because of weight,

00:43:42
because of vaginal deliveries,

00:43:44
but not always,

00:43:45
but especially the more you have,

00:43:47
the more things stretch out

00:43:48
and the connection kind of

00:43:50
rips and then you're not

00:43:52
supporting your urethra and

00:43:54
you're going to leak.

00:43:55
So it's very, very common.

00:43:57
You know,

00:43:57
I want to tell a woman that's

00:43:58
very common.

00:43:59
You don't have to suffer in silence.

00:44:00
It's not just part of aging.

00:44:02
Yes, it's more common with aging,

00:44:04
but there's so much we can

00:44:05
do to try to help you.

00:44:07
At least just acknowledging

00:44:08
it's happening and somebody

00:44:09
to tell you it's okay.

00:44:11
And then there was a one treatment.

00:44:12
We have so many treatments.

00:44:14
medicines, therapy, physical therapy,

00:44:17
surgeries,

00:44:18
procedures that can really help

00:44:19
your quality of life.

00:44:20
So don't suffer in silence.

00:44:23
Don't feel shame because

00:44:25
this is very common.

00:44:26
And so if you're not getting

00:44:28
the help from your primary,

00:44:29
go see a urologist.

00:44:30
I mean, that's what we do all day.

00:44:32
We are happy to help.

00:44:33
There is so much

00:44:35
better quality of life you

00:44:36
can have and have patients

00:44:38
that exactly like you said

00:44:39
they don't go out with

00:44:41
their friends they don't

00:44:42
travel anymore because they

00:44:43
don't want to be leaking or

00:44:44
they're afraid can they

00:44:45
find a bathroom and then we

00:44:46
help them like they go

00:44:48
outside they go hang out

00:44:49
with their grandkids I mean

00:44:50
their life really changes

00:44:51
their depression goes away

00:44:53
because they were just so

00:44:55
you know sad because they

00:44:56
were lonely and they were

00:44:57
not being social so when we

00:44:59
can change that

00:45:01
and not give you

00:45:01
antidepressants for

00:45:02
something that doesn't need that,

00:45:03
you know, the source was,

00:45:05
we just got to get your urine better,

00:45:07
then you really can truly

00:45:09
help people in different

00:45:11
ways without adding so many

00:45:12
other things that you know,

00:45:13
you didn't need.

00:45:15
It is so beautiful to hear

00:45:17
you talk about kind of seeing the patient,

00:45:21
you know,

00:45:21
in such a holistic way that they

00:45:23
don't just show up with one

00:45:24
issue that it's,

00:45:26
that it's tied to a whole bunch of stuff.

00:45:28
It's not,

00:45:28
it's never isolated to one thing.

00:45:31
Absolutely.

00:45:31
I mean,

00:45:32
I had my patient last week have

00:45:35
this surgery on him a

00:45:36
couple of years ago for his

00:45:37
large prostate.

00:45:38
And, you know,

00:45:39
they came for a follow-up and I saw him,

00:45:41
I'm like, well, my God, what's going on?

00:45:42
Like he was so thin, his belly was big.

00:45:44
I'm like, what's going on?

00:45:46
And, you know,

00:45:47
we spent the whole

00:45:48
appointment talking about

00:45:49
his liver issues and what's

00:45:51
been happening and how they

00:45:52
can't get appointments and

00:45:53
how they had to drain him

00:45:55
five liters one day of fluid

00:45:57
that build up and like

00:45:58
everything that happened

00:45:58
and that has nothing let's

00:46:00
say to do with me that's

00:46:02
how physicians think about

00:46:03
it but it has everything to

00:46:04
do with it because that's

00:46:06
my patient that is

00:46:07
suffering and I need to

00:46:07
know what's going on and

00:46:09
they need to vent and tell

00:46:10
me like the frustration and

00:46:12
I'm trying to help them

00:46:12
like well maybe we have to

00:46:14
get a second opinion here

00:46:15
and maybe I can send you

00:46:16
somewhere else you know has

00:46:17
nothing to do with urology

00:46:18
but it really does uh it's

00:46:20
my patient and they're

00:46:21
suffering and like they've

00:46:22
changed from what I saw

00:46:24
And really the last minute was like, okay,

00:46:26
you're peeing.

00:46:27
Okay.

00:46:27
Your flow is good.

00:46:28
Yes.

00:46:28
Yes.

00:46:28
Okay, great.

00:46:28
You know, like,

00:46:28
like that was like the last

00:46:31
minute of what we talked

00:46:32
about and the whole, you know,

00:46:34
my fifteen minutes got

00:46:35
extended to more because I

00:46:36
wanted to talk to them, you know,

00:46:38
to really understand what's

00:46:39
happening to them.

00:46:40
What, what is their concerns?

00:46:42
The wife is stressed.

00:46:43
She's worried.

00:46:44
I'm trying to help her.

00:46:45
She's not the patient, but you know,

00:46:47
it matters, you know,

00:46:48
it's all like how am I

00:46:49
taking care of the whole unit,

00:46:50
not just the patient.

00:46:52
And so,

00:46:53
If I can give support to the

00:46:54
wife who is worried about her loved one,

00:46:57
you know,

00:46:57
that's really my job to try to

00:46:59
be a healer and a teacher.

00:47:00
And that's the role of a

00:47:01
physician is to heal and to teach.

00:47:04
And then the rest is all the gravy on top.

00:47:06
I can give you meds, I can do surgery,

00:47:08
but my primary role is

00:47:10
really to teach you.

00:47:11
to explain to you what's happening,

00:47:13
to tell you about your anatomy,

00:47:14
to tell you about why this

00:47:16
medication does what it

00:47:17
does or it doesn't,

00:47:17
and then you know what it does.

00:47:19
My patients know what the

00:47:20
medicines are for.

00:47:21
Nobody comes in saying,

00:47:22
I don't know what this is for.

00:47:23
Everybody knows what the

00:47:25
side effects are and what

00:47:26
can happen and when to take

00:47:27
it and what to do.

00:47:28
They all know,

00:47:30
and I spend a lot of time teaching,

00:47:31
and then the rest is like healing.

00:47:33
Most of my healing is listening to people.

00:47:36
It really is just letting

00:47:38
them tell me what is bothering them,

00:47:40
hearing their fears,

00:47:42
addressing their fear.

00:47:43
And then the rest,

00:47:44
like they actually get better.

00:47:45
You know,

00:47:46
like I don't do that much stuff

00:47:48
as a doer surgeon.

00:47:50
I'm not doing stuff.

00:47:51
I'm just listening to people.

00:47:52
And that is so powerful and

00:47:55
underrated and underutilized,

00:47:57
powerful tool.

00:48:00
I mean,

00:48:01
it's just it's a human nature for

00:48:03
us just to want to be heard.

00:48:06
Yeah, without judgment.

00:48:09
And it sounds like that's

00:48:10
how you approach your care.

00:48:12
It's so beautiful.

00:48:13
I want to ask,

00:48:15
so primarily I work with the

00:48:18
bereaved community,

00:48:19
and I'm a bereaved parent myself.

00:48:23
I want to ask you, for physicians,

00:48:25
because you deal with, you know,

00:48:29
at times you deal with

00:48:30
death and loss with your

00:48:32
patients and their families.

00:48:35
Um, and it comes to you, you know,

00:48:39
it's not,

00:48:39
it's not necessarily like a

00:48:41
personal family member or friend,

00:48:43
but it affects you if you're only,

00:48:47
and I can still from, you know,

00:48:51
my nursing days in emergency,

00:48:53
I still remember cases.

00:48:55
They stick with me.

00:48:57
And so for physicians and

00:49:01
with your support network

00:49:02
that you've created, um,

00:49:05
How do you deal with the grief that,

00:49:07
you know,

00:49:08
because not everybody can be healed?

00:49:11
Yeah, I feel it.

00:49:13
That's how I deal with it.

00:49:14
I don't suppress it.

00:49:14
I mean, I mean,

00:49:16
I remember all my patients have died.

00:49:17
I mean,

00:49:17
I remember Miami when my first

00:49:20
patients that died when I was attending,

00:49:22
I mean, he died from infection.

00:49:23
Nothing I have to do anything with.

00:49:25
But Mr. Gruber, I mean, I love that man.

00:49:27
I saw him every month to

00:49:28
change his catheter.

00:49:30
And when his daughter,

00:49:31
when I called his daughter to say,

00:49:34
I'm sorry, I mean,

00:49:34
I was crying more than her

00:49:36
at that moment in time.

00:49:37
I mean,

00:49:37
she had already known about a few days,

00:49:38
but she was asking me, are you okay?

00:49:40
And I was like,

00:49:41
it's going to take me a minute.

00:49:42
Like, I was just so, you know,

00:49:44
saddened by his loss

00:49:46
because he was my patient.

00:49:48
And I really, you know, you know,

00:49:51
and even maybe two, two, three months ago,

00:49:53
my other patient died.

00:49:54
You know, I did this really,

00:49:57
really minor procedure, like so minor.

00:50:00
on her under anesthesia.

00:50:01
And then she then had a

00:50:03
complication and had a stroke and then,

00:50:05
you know, died.

00:50:06
And, you know, like, of course, I mean,

00:50:09
it was the last person to touch her.

00:50:10
So, you know,

00:50:10
it's going to be my complication, but,

00:50:12
but, you know,

00:50:13
there was so much beauty

00:50:15
and being there with a

00:50:16
family and like letting the

00:50:19
daughter feel it's okay to

00:50:21
put her in comfort care.

00:50:22
And like, she didn't have to feel guilty.

00:50:24
And I mean, I was in the room with,

00:50:26
without the family for like

00:50:27
an hour and a half, like just crying and

00:50:29
you know, in the room because I, you know,

00:50:32
it's my patient.

00:50:33
And I wasn't crying because

00:50:34
I had a complication.

00:50:34
I was crying because like,

00:50:35
that's my patient.

00:50:36
And that's the family that

00:50:37
is going to lose a loved one.

00:50:39
And that's just part of life.

00:50:40
You know,

00:50:41
we have to accept that death is

00:50:42
part of it.

00:50:43
And

00:50:44
this is a beautiful thing.

00:50:45
And we resisted, we were fighting and like,

00:50:47
oh, we got to do everything like no,

00:50:49
sometimes like doing is letting go,

00:50:51
doing is like stopping the

00:50:53
suffering and the poking the prodding.

00:50:55
And there's so much strength in that,

00:50:57
of letting people just let go,

00:51:00
because you could have done

00:51:00
a lot of stuff.

00:51:01
And I just said, it's okay, like your mom,

00:51:05
wanted it to be this way.

00:51:07
And your mom didn't want to die at home.

00:51:09
She actually wanted to die

00:51:09
in the hospital.

00:51:10
So that's what she wanted.

00:51:11
We got to honor that.

00:51:13
And it would have been very

00:51:14
difficult to die at home

00:51:15
just with the resources.

00:51:16
So she passed and she

00:51:18
transitioned in the hospital.

00:51:20
Her family was there.

00:51:21
Her grandkids came, you know,

00:51:23
so it was just the way she wanted.

00:51:24
And I have other patients

00:51:25
that wanted to die at home

00:51:27
and that was honored.

00:51:29
And she said, I don't want this treatment.

00:51:30
I don't want the treatment.

00:51:32
Stop doing that.

00:51:32
And I said, okay,

00:51:33
we're going to stop all that.

00:51:34
We're going to take out your catheters.

00:51:35
We're going to take this out.

00:51:37
You know,

00:51:38
the initial went to the hospital

00:51:40
because they didn't know what was wrong.

00:51:41
But once they realized, you know,

00:51:42
she had a terminal stroke,

00:51:44
they sent her home and she died at peace,

00:51:45
interstitial peace at home.

00:51:47
And

00:51:48
We got to honor people how

00:51:50
they want to live and how

00:51:51
they want to die.

00:51:53
And I see a lot of people

00:51:54
have so much guilt and fear,

00:51:56
the family members trying

00:51:57
to do so much and trying to hold on.

00:51:59
And that actually doesn't

00:52:01
help people when they transition,

00:52:03
it helps them to let go, to,

00:52:05
to just trust and to sometimes do less.

00:52:08
No, cause it's inevitable.

00:52:10
Like,

00:52:11
of course we don't want people to leave.

00:52:12
I get that,

00:52:13
but they actually truly never leave.

00:52:15
If you kind of look at it

00:52:16
from a spiritual way,

00:52:17
like our life in earth,

00:52:19
It's not our whole life.

00:52:21
It's eternal.

00:52:22
So when you hopefully think of it that way,

00:52:25
then realize they're always with you.

00:52:27
Something I learned actually

00:52:29
talking about death,

00:52:29
one of my meditation teachers,

00:52:33
she lost her daughter at birth.

00:52:35
She was a physician.

00:52:36
So she lost her daughter at birth.

00:52:38
And she always says, the thing I learned

00:52:42
out of all of this with all

00:52:43
this pain was like that love, you know,

00:52:45
it doesn't start and end

00:52:46
like birth or death.

00:52:47
Like it's, it's, it continues.

00:52:49
So she loved her daughter

00:52:50
before she was born.

00:52:51
And then when she was not here,

00:52:52
she still loves her.

00:52:53
She's still with her.

00:52:54
She still feels her presence.

00:52:55
And that's the thing when people,

00:52:58
transition out of this

00:52:59
earthly physical world,

00:53:01
they are still with us.

00:53:02
We feel them.

00:53:03
We think about them.

00:53:04
I mean, that's real.

00:53:06
And that's quantum physics, too.

00:53:07
But it's real.

00:53:08
So, you know, these are difficult times.

00:53:11
But I think it's, you know,

00:53:13
we as physicians,

00:53:15
as people that are physicians,

00:53:16
we kind of feel the feelings.

00:53:18
It's painful.

00:53:20
It is

00:53:21
difficult there's grief

00:53:22
there's loss there's a lot

00:53:24
of stuff but there's also

00:53:26
joy again there's joy that

00:53:28
they're not suffering

00:53:29
there's joy of remembering

00:53:31
all the things that you

00:53:32
experience with them that

00:53:34
never goes away you can

00:53:36
always sit in your grief

00:53:38
and remember the good stuff and um

00:53:41
And you can cry and laugh at

00:53:42
the same time.

00:53:42
I mean, you can be a little teary,

00:53:43
but you can do both.

00:53:46
And you can even laugh about it.

00:53:47
I mean, not at the situation,

00:53:48
but we sometimes have to

00:53:50
break the pattern in these

00:53:51
really difficult situations

00:53:53
and laugh and remember the good stuff.

00:53:56
And it really should be a

00:53:57
celebration of life when you transition.

00:54:00
We celebrate their life,

00:54:01
how much joy they brought us,

00:54:03
how the lessons they taught

00:54:05
us that never go away.

00:54:07
You always remember those lessons,

00:54:09
that time

00:54:10
the thing they did for you.

00:54:11
They taught you how to ride

00:54:13
the bike or whatever it was.

00:54:14
They taught you how to bake that cake.

00:54:16
That never leaves you.

00:54:18
So cherish that, you know,

00:54:21
and just let go.

00:54:22
I think it's really

00:54:22
important to letting go.

00:54:25
You know,

00:54:26
I love what you're saying about

00:54:29
just kind of normalizing

00:54:31
that we all pass.

00:54:33
We all will go into that

00:54:37
the other side,

00:54:38
but we're all still around.

00:54:39
And I totally agree with you on that.

00:54:43
I have great conversations

00:54:46
with all my loved ones on

00:54:47
the other side all the time,

00:54:48
especially when I'm in the yard.

00:54:51
But my sister,

00:54:53
she passed away a few years ago.

00:54:55
She fought a hard battle

00:54:58
with cancer for a number of years.

00:55:00
And I say she had a draw

00:55:03
because cancer did not win

00:55:05
with that woman.

00:55:05
She's the strongest woman I know.

00:55:07
But when she was in the

00:55:10
palliative stages of her life, we sang,

00:55:15
we laughed, we told jokes.

00:55:17
And that was prompt.

00:55:20
She was the one who set the

00:55:21
tone for her passing.

00:55:24
And I still, to this day, years later,

00:55:26
I still think about it,

00:55:27
like how she showed us grace.

00:55:32
She gave us grace.

00:55:34
She showed us how to do it.

00:55:37
And I mean,

00:55:39
it didn't make the pain any less,

00:55:41
but it gave us a feeling of such peace.

00:55:46
And I think that we can all

00:55:47
learn from that.

00:55:49
We could all approach life that way.

00:55:53
So for physicians and patients,

00:55:56
so there's a lot of

00:55:58
patients who will be

00:55:59
listening to the podcast.

00:56:01
How can we support

00:56:02
physicians these days as patients?

00:56:04
We know that we show up,

00:56:05
we want you to take care of us,

00:56:07
but what can we do for you?

00:56:10
Yeah, well, beautiful.

00:56:12
I mean,

00:56:12
I think kindness goes a long way

00:56:14
both sides, you know?

00:56:15
And I think sometimes just acknowledging,

00:56:17
like, asking your physician, like,

00:56:19
how are you today?

00:56:21
How are you?

00:56:22
Or, you know,

00:56:22
just saying something kind or

00:56:24
I appreciate you.

00:56:24
I mean, like, that's such a small word,

00:56:26
but it's not.

00:56:26
Like, when patients just say,

00:56:28
I appreciate you, it's like, oh,

00:56:30
thank you.

00:56:30
Like...

00:56:32
I'm trying my best and yeah,

00:56:34
we have a thousand patients.

00:56:35
I'm like, yeah, I know it's a little late,

00:56:37
but that appreciation goes a long way.

00:56:43
Even when I was sick, I was very sick.

00:56:44
I was gone for a week, which is crazy,

00:56:46
unheard of.

00:56:47
You know,

00:56:47
but like my patients gave me grace of,

00:56:50
you know,

00:56:51
I'm saying like I was not able

00:56:52
to take care of you.

00:56:53
Like some things got dropped.

00:56:54
I'm really sorry.

00:56:55
I know you had to wait or do this,

00:56:57
but like I really was

00:56:58
unable to take care of you

00:56:59
and they give you grace.

00:57:01
And, you know,

00:57:02
that is just so heartwarming.

00:57:04
you know, when they do,

00:57:06
just acknowledging our

00:57:07
humanity and acknowledging

00:57:08
that we get sick and that

00:57:11
we are tired and that, you know,

00:57:13
we have feelings, you know,

00:57:14
we're not robots.

00:57:15
So I think when you acknowledge just that,

00:57:17
that can just go such a long way,

00:57:19
you know, just saying like, thank you,

00:57:20
I appreciate you.

00:57:21
You know, how are you today, doc?

00:57:23
You know, like, or like,

00:57:24
I'm not saying you have to bring gifts,

00:57:25
but like little things can

00:57:27
go a long way where we just

00:57:28
feel appreciated.

00:57:29
And it doesn't have to be money,

00:57:30
just words could be great.

00:57:32
And then

00:57:34
I think that's just the first thing,

00:57:35
just being kind,

00:57:37
and then they can ripple

00:57:38
into other things.

00:57:39
But there's many ways people

00:57:41
can advocate for physicians.

00:57:42
There's laws that you can look into,

00:57:45
or like Lorna Breen is a

00:57:47
big organization that is

00:57:48
trying to really change a

00:57:50
lot of things and support for physicians.

00:57:53
So you can always Google it or go there,

00:57:55
Lorna Breen,

00:57:55
and how to talk to your

00:57:57
congressmen or people in

00:57:58
politics to really

00:58:00
find ways of organizations

00:58:02
that are trying to make the

00:58:03
situation better for us.

00:58:05
Because again,

00:58:05
there's many oppressive

00:58:06
things from a licensing standpoint, from

00:58:09
things that we have to

00:58:10
disclose are like barriers

00:58:11
for us to get help because

00:58:13
there's a lot of stigma for

00:58:14
us to get help for many reasons and,

00:58:16
you know,

00:58:17
fear of loss of our jobs and

00:58:18
things like that.

00:58:19
So it's not only the stigma

00:58:20
that everybody has about mental health,

00:58:22
but there's a stigma that

00:58:23
because we disclose, we will lose,

00:58:25
you know, our jobs, which is, again,

00:58:27
it's very real.

00:58:28
It definitely happens.

00:58:29
You know, people, when they do speak up,

00:58:32
either because of injustice,

00:58:33
because of whistleblowing,

00:58:35
or because of our mental health,

00:58:37
we get shut down really fast.

00:58:38
And that is unfortunate, but it's real.

00:58:40
So again,

00:58:41
if you can find those ways to support us,

00:58:44
just kindness, again,

00:58:45
that goes a long way.

00:58:46
And we do truly appreciate it.

00:58:48
So that would be my way.

00:58:50
Just be kind.

00:58:50
Just be kind.

00:58:52
Yes.

00:58:56
So I have a global gratitude

00:58:57
group called Just One Little Thing.

00:58:59
And I started that group

00:59:01
when I was kind of in the

00:59:03
depths of my own darkness and grief.

00:59:05
And it's called Just One

00:59:07
Little Thing because we

00:59:10
made an agreement as a

00:59:11
family that we would look for gratitude.

00:59:13
It was something, you know,

00:59:15
a whisper in my ear from God.

00:59:18
from wisdom around me that I

00:59:21
needed to use gratitude.

00:59:23
Not to deny the loss,

00:59:24
but to use gratitude for

00:59:26
what remained to get through it.

00:59:28
And so each day at, you know,

00:59:30
at one point or another,

00:59:31
at dinner usually,

00:59:33
my son and my husband and I, we'd say,

00:59:35
what's your one little thing for today?

00:59:38
Because to be honest,

00:59:39
we were at a stage in our

00:59:40
life where it was really

00:59:41
hard to find one little thing.

00:59:44
And so that's what this group has grown.

00:59:47
This has been fifteen years

00:59:48
now doing this.

00:59:50
And and so I usually every day I'll say,

00:59:53
OK, so today I'm thankful for, you know,

00:59:55
the changing leaves in the south.

00:59:57
I love the change of seasons.

00:59:59
And so today I'm thankful

01:00:03
for learning so much from you, truly.

01:00:07
And for your work is so important.

01:00:12
to take care of each other as physicians.

01:00:15
I just think that's remarkable.

01:00:17
So I am thankful for the changing leaves,

01:00:21
for my great tea that I had

01:00:24
before our call,

01:00:25
and I am thankful for you.

01:00:26
So what is your one little thing today?

01:00:29
Oh, I have so many.

01:00:32
But yes, I mean,

01:00:34
today's the first day of fall,

01:00:35
which is so beautiful, right?

01:00:36
It's fall.

01:00:36
And I was thinking about just falling.

01:00:39
Like, are you falling?

01:00:39
Are you letting go?

01:00:41
I mean, autumn is a different word for it,

01:00:43
of course,

01:00:43
but I was thinking about the

01:00:44
meaning of fall and the

01:00:45
first day of fall and the

01:00:47
first day of changes and the seasons.

01:00:49
And I am not a fan of the fall,

01:00:53
winter seasons,

01:00:54
but I am embracing them

01:00:56
because I have a colleague

01:00:57
that loves them and he's so joyful.

01:00:59
And I was like,

01:00:59
I'm going to hold on to your joy.

01:01:03
So I am grateful for him

01:01:04
because every day he puts

01:01:05
something about them and I'm like, okay,

01:01:06
I'm going to do it.

01:01:08
So I'm grateful for him

01:01:10
because of these seasons,

01:01:11
of these changes.

01:01:11
I also had a great tea.

01:01:13
I had my time in the morning

01:01:15
to have quiet time after I

01:01:17
was very sick and I was really unable to.

01:01:20
So it was just so filling my

01:01:22
soul to have that time.

01:01:24
And I went to my friend's

01:01:26
house yesterday and I spent

01:01:27
time with her daughter, their birthday.

01:01:28
And all these things were so

01:01:31
just beautiful.

01:01:31
And

01:01:32
Actually, my friend,

01:01:34
her daughter's birthday is today,

01:01:36
and that was the same day

01:01:37
that her mom passed away.

01:01:38
It was the same day.

01:01:39
And that is such a, again,

01:01:41
that exposition of pain and

01:01:43
pleasure and loss and grief and love.

01:01:47
And it's all mixed together.

01:01:48
So I think it's kind of

01:01:49
fitting that in this day,

01:01:50
which is her birthday and

01:01:51
the day that her mother passed,

01:01:53
we're having this podcast as well.

01:01:55
because it shows us that, you know,

01:01:57
we're not alone.

01:01:58
Our story is pretty universal.

01:02:00
We all feel have been

01:02:02
through many things and

01:02:03
we're never alone.

01:02:05
So we got to realize like,

01:02:06
we're not alone.

01:02:07
You know, we have a community.

01:02:09
We can build a community.

01:02:10
If you don't have one,

01:02:11
we can be grateful and

01:02:12
start looking for all the

01:02:13
things that are good, despite the sadness,

01:02:16
despite the grief.

01:02:17
And that is really important.

01:02:18
It's not just one little thing.

01:02:20
It's so many things because we're

01:02:22
When you start with that one little thing,

01:02:24
you realize the more you're

01:02:25
grateful for one thing,

01:02:26
the more things you find to

01:02:27
be grateful for.

01:02:28
So it's a beautiful effect.

01:02:30
But starting with the one

01:02:31
little thing is really

01:02:32
important because you're

01:02:33
going to find like all the things.

01:02:35
So I agree.

01:02:36
Start with that one thing

01:02:37
and then you'll see the beautiful,

01:02:39
beautiful growth that will

01:02:40
happen in that.

01:02:41
Thank you.

01:02:43
That's beautiful.

01:02:44
Um, so before we kind of close out,

01:02:46
I want to,

01:02:47
I want you to tell our

01:02:48
listeners how they can connect with you,

01:02:50
how they can find your work, um,

01:02:53
and anything else you want

01:02:54
to share with us before we go.

01:02:56
Yeah.

01:02:57
So the, the thing, main thing is again,

01:02:59
realize you matter.

01:03:01
Realize you're worthy.

01:03:02
Realize your worth is inside

01:03:05
and your love and your joy

01:03:06
and you're not all the other stuff, anger,

01:03:08
sadness, division.

01:03:10
You're love and light.

01:03:11
That's really important.

01:03:12
And that you matter.

01:03:13
And you got to take care of yourself first,

01:03:14
especially for women out there listening.

01:03:16
Please take care of yourself first.

01:03:17
It's not selfish.

01:03:19
It's not narcissistic.

01:03:20
It is essential.

01:03:21
So that's number one.

01:03:23
And yeah, if you want to connect with me,

01:03:25
I live in LinkedIn usually.

01:03:27
So go to LinkedIn, Diana Londoño MD.

01:03:29
I'm there.

01:03:30
You can also just find me on my website,

01:03:32
which is my name, Diana Londoño,

01:03:34
L-O-N-D-O-N-O-M-D.com.

01:03:36
That's another way,

01:03:37
but I'm in most social

01:03:39
media platforms except X.

01:03:41
But just look for me.

01:03:43
I'm there in Google Meet and

01:03:44
I love to connect.

01:03:46
I can talk about this stuff for hours.

01:03:47
I'm really passionate about

01:03:49
all this because this matters to all of us,

01:03:51
not just wellness for physicians,

01:03:52
but how we take care of ourselves,

01:03:55
how we realize our worth,

01:03:56
how we can be kind,

01:03:58
how we can do little things

01:03:59
that have great ripple

01:04:00
effects for the world.

01:04:02
But we have to start with ourselves first.

01:04:05
That's beautiful.

01:04:06
Thank you so much for being

01:04:08
on the show today.

01:04:09
I so appreciate it.

01:04:11
And for our listeners,

01:04:12
please check out Diana's amazing work.

01:04:16
And I also want you

01:04:18
the next time you have an

01:04:19
appointment with your physician,

01:04:20
say thank you.

01:04:22
So, and ask them how they're doing today.

01:04:25
I think that's important as well.

01:04:26
So thanks everybody for

01:04:28
listening and we'll see you next time.

01:04:30
Thank you.

PersonalTransformation,findmypurpose,HealthcareCoaching,HealthAndWellness,spiritualgrowth,Urologist,PhysicianWellbeing,HealthcareLeadership,HealthcareBurnout,BurnoutRecovery,frontlineworkers,healingjourney,healthcare,MentalHealthMatters,